Been in a rebound relationship? Helpful or hurtful? iswhatitis: Been a reader for while here. Just recently got the balls to start posting. From what I have read on this board, I hope I don't get blasted for putting this up here. I know that rebound relationships are wrong and if you are going into one knowingly especially, you should try to evacuate. However, I am curious about looking at these relationships from a more objective standpoint. For people that did go into such relationships, do you think they helped you heal to some degre.. Obviously after they finish or don't you are left somewhere in between I would imagine. But I am sure there are some people that come out renewed as well. I know the logic doesn't hold up and the morals are wrong and all that. Just wanted to hear some first hand experience from people who were in them. How did they affect your recovery?
Re: Been in a rebound relationship? Helpful or hurtful? Samarra: Hey there,
Glad you found the cajones...and no you won't get blasted.
Rebound relationships...in and of themselves...are not necessarily a bad thing. The confusion and potential hurt comes when both parties are not honest about what it is they want at the time.
An interim relationship sometimes is a good thing because it can help bolster self-confidence...plus you get some TLC in the bargain.
As long as you are upfront about your intentions...maybe you just want to have some fun and a couple of laughs...and she/he agrees...it shouldn't be a problem.
Again as in all things...be careful...even though you may both agree initially it's always possible one of you will start to develop deeper feelings. Being honest from the beginning will save alot of heartache.
Re: Been in a rebound relationship? Helpful or hurtful? toughgirl1029: I am in a "rebound relationship" right now. Actually we both are, but we made an agreement from day one...total honesty with each other, regardless if you think it will hurt the other person. The guy I'm with has become my best friend and has helped me deal with some very tough issues. My marriage was horrible....I spent the last 6 years of my life being someone that I swore I'd never become. Now, I'm myself again--laughing and having fun and enjoying life for the first time in a long time. And yes, my feelings have become much deeper for the person I'm with.
I know some rebound relationships are disasters waiting to happen. Fortunatly, in my case, my relationship was exactly what was needed. I've never been this happy and "content" in my adult life. For once, I don't feel the need to try and please someone, and I'm not walking around on eggshells all day. I am free to be me!
I do agree though that rebound relationships are not for everyone, and that each person needs to think carefully before entering one. And if you are as lucky as I am to find the right person, then it will be worth it!
Re: Been in a rebound relationship? Helpful or hurtful? JerniganReturns: It depends on your constitution. If you believe you're emotionally and mentally equipped, and you realize that it is most likely a temporary thing that won't be there in the future, then I don't see the harm in it.
Often people on this board advise those just exiting a relationship to take some down time and be alone. Been there and done that, and it wasn't any more enriching that having a brief fling with someone. Sometimes, you just don't WANT to be alone. Perhaps you just want a placebo.
Again, just make sure you're emotionally and physically equipped, that would be my advice. I've been in rebound relationships before, and they usually leave me feeling a little more ragged and tattered than I did before because I become attached fairly easily.
Re: Been in a rebound relationship? Helpful or hurtful? jillieb44: In my case it's definitely been a helpful thing. I can't say I've had a 'relationship' but I've dated a bit since my separation, and I think it's definitely helped put things in perspective.
That yes, I'm a vibrant, semi-attractive, passionate woman and somewhere/someday I *will* find someone to have another long-term committed relationship with.
I didn't date a lot pre-ex, so this is kind of fun. Frustrating at times, but mostly fun.
Jillie
Click More for the next page.
