Re: Been in a rebound relationship? Helpful or hurtful? one day at a time: I am on this site because someone broke my heart by getting involved with me - then getting back with his ex. He convinced me (maybe trying to convince himself???) that he was over her. Obviously not. From personal experience, I think it's best to wait until you're over the ex, or at least be very, very upfront and honest with the rebound person - even if that means just saying you're confused.
Re: Been in a rebound relationship? Helpful or hurtful? Phyxius: [quote"> I will not settle for less than absolute acceptance of my children...no one other than my Ex will ever do that! [/quote">
Doesn't that leave you kinda stuck? I mean:
1) Your ex is your ex
2) You will not settle for anything less for your kids than the kind of love for them that your ex can give
3) No one but him could do that
4) But your ex is still your ex
Vicious little bit of circular logic, isn't it? Hell, it makes my head hurt just thinking about it... 
Re: Been in a rebound relationship? Helpful or hurtful? down2basics: [quote author=Phyxius link=topic=15043.msg126786#msg126786 date=1121372114">
Vicious little bit of circular logic, isn't it? Hell, it makes my head hurt just thinking about it...
[/quote">
Easy!!! Don't hurt yourself there Phyx! I guess I should learn to articulate better...what I mean is this:
Whomever you/I/we/they get involved with - must - MUST - accept the children that come with the entire package....There is no itemization such as they want me, but not my kids - My kids and I are a package deal...so eventually I guess I would want someone to love my kids as unconditionally as my Ex loves my children....is that too much to ask? If so...I guess I'm gonna be by myself for quite a long time....
Re: Been in a rebound relationship? Helpful or hurtful? gulfcoast: Nothing wrong with going out and meeting people and having fun....
Everybody needs to be able to get out when they are going through seperations and divorces.....dating several people and learning and healing...
I think the problem with rebounding is when you know you aren't ready for something serious because you just got out of something serious.....
you know deep down it is way to soon but you try to convince others that you are ready...when you're really not........moving to fast is just going to get you hurt.....nothing wrong with dating and chatting and all of that....but when you meet someone so soon after a split and you rush everything...moving in...marriage...all of that is just your heart hurting and needing a fix....
get your fix from dating.....not from having to jump back in so soon.........
people owe it to themselves to take some time....
PLUS....like down2basics was saying about the kids involved.....
ofcourse whoever you are seeing and rushing into things with is going to be great at first with your kids....wait till you are all living together for a little bit and see how it slowly changes....
I am glad she brought that point up about the kids because too often they are dealt things that are not healthy for them......
take time for yourself.....and time for your kids......don't just assume that things are ok with them....
Re: Been in a rebound relationship? Helpful or hurtful? jillieb44: As far as kids and dating -- I would NOT under any circumstances expose my kids to my dating unless/until I was 100% certain that this was going to be a long-term relationship.
No way am I going to expose them to that.
I don't want them to form attachments only to lose them, too. The only people my kids will meet will be friends, plain and simple (ie men AND women who will only be friends).
Jillie
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