Re: Been in a rebound relationship? Helpful or hurtful? JimB: [quote author=iswhatitis link=topic=15043.msg126281#msg126281 date=1121327885">
I know that rebound relationships are wrong and if you are going into one knowingly especially, you should try to evacuate. [/quote">
How did you get this idea?
I would say rebounds are no different than any other relationship. If you go into it with excessive cynicism ("only in it to get laid", etc.), that approach is going to bite you back. But if you approach it with an open mind, accept what the other person has to offer, and appreciate them as best you can, it needn't be hurtful to either party.
Besides, IMO, you never know it's a rebound until after it's over....
Re: Been in a rebound relationship? Helpful or hurtful? JerniganReturns: I thought about this a little more and I can honestly say that almost ALL of my relationships have been rebound relationships. Doesn't make me look very good, does it? Eh, like I care at this point. :)
I have ended one relationship just to get into another one the very next day. Yes I have.
And often.
How much time do you have to take off for it NOT to be a rebound? Two months? Six? Twelve?
Or is it a matter of being in the right emotional place? Because, honestly, I don't think I've ever been there. I doubt I ever will. I've always depended too much on the kindness of strangers.
I think the most alone I've ever been is now. And I hate it. I won't lie.
Re: Been in a rebound relationship? Helpful or hurtful? riversandlakes:
i had the risks (?) of starting rebound relationships if i had wanted or allowed them to. too much morality in this little head. too much of "my pain i shouldn't pass on to others".
went on quite a number of dates. it never spanned beyond two times, for i couldn't bear afterwards the nostalgia of first love lost. even the girl leaving the car and me waiting for her to safely enter the house will bring back memories of such ritual for the past four years.
from the very first date, i've always kissed her goodnite, waited for her to open her gates, then lock it, wave bye at me in the porch, then lock the door and wave from within, before driving away. how did she find the courage or the heart to cut me so deep?
women look for subtle hints, right? was this not subtle, or too obvious it got overlooked? :'( funny how this can bring tears to my eyes, but i promise you they won't roll. didn't require controls anymore. i've not been rolling tears for the past few weeks.
i am healing and getting stronger - physically and emotionally.
ok, sorry, one tear rolled away...
Re: Been in a rebound relationship? Helpful or hurtful? Phyxius: I haven't been, but my ex did. I must admit, that what liasons she has had since the divorce have been unmitigated disasters...
Re: Been in a rebound relationship? Helpful or hurtful? down2basics: I've been in one what you might call relationship. It taught me one seriously important lesson - that is this...
NO ONE WILL EVER LOVE YOUR CHILDREN THE WAY YOU AND YOUR SPOUSE DO.
For me - that's HUGE! I will not settle for less than absolute acceptance of my children...no one other than my Ex will ever do that! So while, for me, it was a total disaster, something important/good did come of it.
fwiw!
d2b
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