i am dying on the inside loss4words: My husband and I have been married just under 3 years. We are a young couple. The spark died. Off and on we have been working on. Haven't told anyone. Well, we talked about it last Friday, decided to take time apart. Maybe a week- a revitalization. Tuesday he calls and wants to talk. He doesn't feel the same and we talked about divorce. We would sleep on it and talk on Wednesday. He doesn't feel the same, doesn't want to hurt me, doesn't feel it is fair for me to love him more than I love him. He already talked to an attorney on Tuesday who already drew up the papers. I signed them in haste. I don't want a divorce. I want to work at this more, but he doesn't. I am dying. He is my soulmate and I cannot live without him.
Re: i am dying on the inside Samarra: Hi Sweetie,
Sometimes I wish it were possible to send hugs through a computer screen.
This is hard because you are the only one in this equation who seems to want to try. You can't do this alone.
Divorce isn't always the end...I don't want to hold out false hope to you...but neither should you feel like it's the end of the world.
People have gotten divorced too hastilly and realized their mistakes and gotten back together.
Some get divorced thinking their lives are finished and something new and wonderful opens up for them.
Basically what I'm saying is...just because those papers were signed doesn't mean you don't have a prayer....but even if it's time to move on...you can do it.
Re: i am dying on the inside Lome: Hi,
I am so sorry to hear about this.
Right now, there is not much you can do. Just work on healing. He has some issues he has to resolve right now. It may be that the relationship is over....in that case, it is better that you discovered this now. Just focus on you. What do you need to survive? How are you going to stay healthy?
Read and post here often. You need a support system. The people here are all going thru this too.
Do not waste one moment of your life waiting for him to return. It will hurt so much, I know. But, until he really has to live without you...he will not even begin to understand what he has left.
And sometimes....even when he learns he has made a big mistake...it is just too much to come back. You must proceed with your own life!
Hugs! Look for your blessings daily and find your joy.
Re: i am dying on the inside JerniganReturns: Yes, you definitely need a support system now. I would seek some advice here on the board, and possibly go in for counselling for some additional help. And your family and friends---you can't underestimate their value now.
You probably won't agree with me now, but *of course* you can live without him. And I will not question the fact that you were "soulmates"---that is not my place---but if I had a dime for every time I thought that, I'd have a dollar. Doesn't sound like much, but think about it. I seriously believed in my heart of hearts that this woman or that woman was my soulmate, and a year later, my perspective had changed.
I know this is a valuable relationship to you. By no means is it my intention to downplay that. And I also understand that you are in a lot---a lot!---of pain. Don't let this pain trick you into believing that your life will never be joyful again. I try to keep this in mind myself when I'm in my rough spots.
All the best to you...
