Re: She's not in love with me any more but this is differant I hope Samarra: Maybe too much space...and too much time to think...Distance doesn't always lend enchantment...sometimes memories fade.
You don't say what your issues were...based on their severity...maybe this is the reason she's hesitant to be with you.
There aren't many details to go on here other than the seperation....so it's hard to know what to say.
Re: She's not in love with me any more but this is differant I hope LONGWAY: In the first year of our daughters life. I worked from 2 pm to 11pm in an 24 office. After work I would go out for a few drinks with collegues and the alot of the time would turn into 4am and me getting home and she would be feeding the baby. MOst of the time she would still be in bed. I never saw anything wrong with this basicly cause I felt if you are sleep whats the problem. Our sex life became non existant to say the least. We never shout shout at each other but we would fight quite a bit. I still wanted to play golf go out with the boys. When they had problem they need to talk about I would drop everything to help them. I put every thing and everyone else first. I think my uncertainties lead to her uncertanties.
Re: She's not in love with me any more but this is differant I hope Samarra: Don't worry, I'm not going to lecture you, because I know you already know.
A couples' sex life would probably never dwindle if the guys helped with the housework and the kids...even just a little...believe me there's nothing sexier to an overworked mom than a guy washing dishes and giving the kids' a bath...Hot damn.
Not to stray off-topic...This is not such an unforgivable sin...especially since you do know in what ways you went wrong and want to fix it.
She needs some time...maybe call her a little less so it doesn't seem like your pressuring her. I know given the miles between you this is so hard....but a little patience is what's needed here...she may just come around.
Good Luck to you.
Re: She's not in love with me any more but this is differant I hope Ilosther: Longway, my friend, you are living my life. You are living the life of many others here. Aside from the long distance relationship, and for me there is no other man, we are in the same boat.
She's not happy with herself, she is a teacher and has always helped others before she helped her own needs. We have a son, been together for 11 years (living together and married). Then out the blue, same thing, not happy. Still loves me, but not in love! (That's the best line isnt it!?)
We also went thru tons of stress, buying, selling houses, moving left and right, living with in laws, raising a very active and non sleeping child. Her busy career.
It's been about 2 months since she first brought this up, and I even got paranoid there was another teacher at her school she was interested in since she too had an outing with him-but she honestly says no feelings toward him except as a colleague.
It's been hell, she wants to move out, and it turns out I will move out first. It's basically come to her saying divorce is reality, us separating probably wont solve anything. Counselling hasn't solved anything for both of us, except to show that she is confused and thinks she just needs to be divorced to gain her independence that she feels she lost.
Let me tell you from my experience, she is confused. She never took care of her own needs, took care of everyone else first. You can be the greatest guy in the world, do everything for her, but if she can't do anything for herself to please her own needs, she wont be happy. I am a great person and I can't even please her, did nothing wrong my wife says.
It just happens, we have changed she says. You cannot understand it, you probably never will. My only advice is to move on, and let her find herself. I should've followed that advice 2 months ago, but I want to hold onto her, emotionally and physically for as long as we are still under 1 roof. Honestly, I feel there is no way you can do anything for her now, this is an issue she has to resolve on her own, she may never come back to you, but also you professing your love to her will also push her further away. She will feel guilty for being loved by you, cuz she doesn't reciprocate it back and that will make her more unhappy with herself.
You catch the theme here? This is about HER. She's not being selfish (unless she's is cheating-but human beings are weak). She has just not taken care of herself and now she doesn't know if being with you is also making her unhappy.
It sucks, you cry, you bleed, you dont eat, but please, take care of yourself. Do what makes you feel right and happy, but in the end, you can do NOTHING to help her. Just support her and hope both of you are being honest.
good luck, pm me if u want to talk more.
Re: She's not in love with me any more but this is differant I hope LONGWAY: Thanks for you help so far, diffeances in opion but thats good cause you can take the best of both world pardon the the pune. It does seem to be she needs to find herself. I'm going to support her and love her all the way.
I still would greatly appriciate replies
