Re: me. alone. depressed. ok with that? whatnext: Thanks guys. Wow what a s#$tty day yesterday! I didn't get to swim because it was storming out, but I went to town and sat at the market, ate dinner with a large group of friends and aquintences and even got a backrub from a massuese doing a fundraiser.
That helped a lot and today is better.
AfterMath, believe me, my kids are front and center. I have joint custody with my stbx and I think part of the depression yesterday is that they are out of town for two weeks, leaving me a fairly good-sized void. I even still do the yo-yo act and consider reconciling with the stbx (she would) for their sakes, but as my friend said yesterday "That would make you a martyr, do you want that". And of course the answer is no.
Havehope,
Thanks... I swear that if, in high school, I had worked out with the INTENSITY that I do now, I would have been a state champion. The pleasure/pain principal is definitely at work...
Re: me. alone. depressed. ok with that? riversandlakes: Dreams sure kick a lot of *ss. Extremely hurtful ones in the beginning, to wake up grasping for air. I still have some, but now they are almost bordering on neutrality. i remember telling her in one of these dreams, "Freewill comes with the burden of consequences."
i agree on working out to release the unfulfilled needs. melt them all into the iron bars, if you will. make that last rep happen, with eyes shut, almost out of breath, and a yell. HEYA!
My ex was my one and only too :D :-\ :'( (yeah, drunk)
Re: me. alone. depressed. ok with that? Ilosther: [quote author=whatnext link=topic=15093.msg127164#msg127164 date=1121434551">
but as my friend said yesterday "That would make you a martyr, do you want that". And of course the answer is no.
[/quote">
Yeah, I've heard that martyr thing too. I so want her to come back to me, I know I'd still be happy, and I know our family would be happy. Would I be giving up myself to take her back if she wanted to come back? I hope I one day get to make that decision. Right now, one day at a time. I used to play tennis in HS, really well too. I wish I could find buddies to play with once on my own.
