Re::'( picadilly: Safety, I'm so sorry she is doing this to you, brother. When I read that I just started to cry too, for you, for myself thinking about what I would do if my wife ever tried that. It's rough & mean of her to try this now, especially after all that she's put you through & this close to the offical "end".
You've always been there for me. I've always told you that you were my anchor, the guy I look up to for support because you've been through it all. I don't think I have the words that will help you understand whats going on with her. Just know that I have faith in you, that I believe in you, no matter what choices you make. My thoughts are with you today. I know you'll pull through, your a fighter & even though we've never talked or met in RL, I think of you as a friend.
Good luck, man, I'm here for you.
Re::'( barelybreathing: Sniff sniff.
I am so sorry. Your head must be spinning.
Dig down deep Safety. Step back and evaluate and take a deep breathe. The answers will come to you and you will know what is right and what is real.
Trust in you and your instincts and trust in the Lord. It will all be okay. However the outcome.
I am sending you all the positive energy and support I can your way.
BB
Re::'( newandconfused: Oh, Safety...How I hope you are feeling supported by all of us here at OJAR. And although I don't know you at all, other than certain aspects of you that you share with all of us, I really feel for you and care about what you're going through. As usual, I'll share a few thoughts that I had when I read your message.
It seems that she has never had the time to slow down and really feel the break up considering she was having an emotional affair with another man. It's like she hasn't had the time to grieve (or made the time to grieve), I mean really grieve for the fact that she has decided to give up on your relationship and all that entails. So now, with the divorce 2 weeks away and the stark reality that both of your lives will be forever changed and what that might mean for her, she is beginning her process. And what a terrible time to begin.
And what's worse, is your meeting with her left you with some feelings of hope for your relationship--instead of closure. However, hope doesn't have to be bad. Just prepare yourself for an even wilder ride--if that is possible.
It's okay to feel this hope-and who knows, maybe she is being sincere. However, what I suggest is that if you want to remain hopeful (i.e, ifyou think you want to get back together and it's a real possibility), you should definitely give her plenty of space and time so she can really make up her mind of what she wants. And you can solidify that indeed, is what you want.
I do suggest going through with the divorce- so it's real to her and so she knows you mean business. She needs to see how strong you really are and how serious you are about the relationship. And if that means moving on, then so be it.
This is dangerous ground she is covering with you==especially because you have already begun and are well on the path to moving on with your life.
All I can say is, do what you feel is best for you. Really feel what is best, and do it with no reservations. Sure, you might always wonder what could have been either way, but feel in your heart what is best for you now. You are a different person than you were before this happened. Take comfort in that because you have undoubtedly grown in ways that you may have never imagined (or wanted to!)... You deserve the best. Now think about how she will fit into your new life because you can never go back to how it was before. Does she fit?
I wish you all the strength you need to get through this. I really do.
Re::'( JimB: Man, have I been there. Oh boy, have I been there.
[quote">
you do have a good grip on reality.... But then that pesky emotional goop gets in the way and puts your reality on shaky ground. [/quote">
I quote this from JMN because it bears repeating. I can't even begin to describe the impression of solidity I've gotten from you through your posts on this site. You definitely know the score, my friend, and whatever decision you eventually make will be a good one. It's really, really hard, but then if it was easy, wouldn't that feel weird?
Kinda funny, in a way, ain't it? Just when you think it's starting to get easier, it gets difficult again. Decisions already made have to be made again and again.
Just because she can set you back like this, it doesn't mean you're not doing great. I have faith in you. Keep fighting.
Re::'( galil: >:(
hang in there bud, IT does and will for sure get better. Dont give up 5 minutes before the miracle.
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