two babys and no more love val3128: [color=Maroon"> [/color"> :'(
I am 26 years old and I've been maried for 5 years. I have one 2 y old and one 3 y old. We just mooved in a larger house this spring. My housband started to be cold with me 3 months ago. He finaly told me yesturday that he shoudn't have maried me. Because I'm not exactly what he desire physicaly.
I'm good looking but I weight 165 pounds.
I am so descouraged! Will any man will want to start a relationship with a woman who have two babys? And will any man be able to accept me as I am (little overweight). I have given everything to my housband. Prepared him apple pies in fall, jams, cleaned the house, save money... everything. Life is so unfair! Why do I have this fat ass. I studied in dietetics, know and do everything not to be fat, but I guess it's in my geens.
I can't accept this rejection from my housband. This is so selfish!
What do you think?
Re:two babys and no more love PiscesGoddess: Oh God.. first of all I'm really sorry for your situation.. :'(
Next I have to say, dont blame your weight on his coldness.. Thats just a really lame excuse for whatever is going on with him. You have given him 2 babies for Gods sake! Would any man love you with 2 babies? Of course they will.. I have more than 2 and I have found love a time or two.. ;) And if someone wouldnt want you.. because you have kids..they arent worthy of your time anyway. Second, quit beating yourself up for not being the exact size you want to be.. that only leaves you stuck in a miserable place. YOu are not unworthy or unloveable to anyone but yourself right now, and he is just drilling this further into your head. The first thing to do ..is dont let him win..dont let him treat you this way,, and try and love yourself , flaws and all.. because no matter what size we are, if we dont love ourselves deep down inside, its hard for anyone else to either. I am sure you are a vibrant wonderful woman... and Im sorry this man is hurting you like this. Please dont take this as harsh because it is certainly not meant to be that way. My ex used to do the same things to me.. and I believed it, for awhile.. and then I thought,, do I want my kids to grow up seeing someone treating me this way and me believing it? NO! And I took steps to change the situation. I wish you only the best on your journey.. and send you peaceful thoughts. Take care of yourself.. and keep us posted on how things are going. :)
HUGS
Pisces
Re:two babys and no more love picadilly: Val, listen to Goddess, her words are wise.
My stbx was a bit over weight, 170lbs, but I love (loved) her more then life itself. Weight has nothing to with someone falling in love with someone, it's the person on the inside, the personality. He may have said all that but at one time, he loved you enough to have 2 kids with you & a mortgage. His words now are just hurtfull & an excuse out of the relationship, he needs it otherwise he'll have no one else to blame but himself... & you know that isn't going to happen.
Be strong, I admire all woman who have given birth... it's more painfull then most anything I could imagine & you survived it. Your strong... you just need to remember that. ;)
Keep posting, we're here for you.
Re:two babys and no more love Safetykc: Val,
Both the Goddess and Pic are right....My STBX weighed more than you or Pic's STBX when I met her and had two kids and was getting a divorce and I fell in love with her on the inside and the outside...and married her....but thats neither here nor there....
What he is doing and his coldness isn't related as much to you as to what is going on in his head...
Thee might be some deeper issues here in your marriage that need to be addressed. Have you ever discussed marital counseling so you could get these things out in a neutral not-so emotionally charged setting?
I hear you though and we are here for you. I hope you guys can work it out...Are you at the point of seperation or divorce or was this just a fight?
Regardless...
Big Hugs for you and hang in there...your babies need you to be strong...
Take care
Re:two babys and no more love val3128: You can't imagine how you anwsers touch me. Thanks for your support.
I will clarify the situation: My housband told me he was always unhappy living with me now. He told me that if we guet seperate for a couple of months, maybe he could love me after but it wouldn't last. So I decide to call a mediator to seperate and divorce. I bought a "house for sale" board and I put it in front of the house. When he saw that and knew that I called the mediator he was a bit surprised but seemed happy. He asked me what I wanted him to do this w/e and I told him I would like him to go out with the kids and leave me alone. He went to his grandmother. He told me to make a list of what I want to keep after the divorce and what he will keep. He told me that he didn't want much...
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