holidays inebr: Here come santer claus here come santer claus...
I was in this home improvement mega-mart store today and was thinking, holidays seem kind of sad. I was walking around the decoration aisles wondering if I should decorate. And saw all the cute couples and families picking out their decorations. That got me down a little bit, then I thought... hey, it's not all bad. I've got some good stuff going on in my life, it's not perfect and there are times I wish a lot of things were different. ....anyhow, the holidays have always gotten me down a bit. I always end up thinking about those families without much money, kids feeling let down or sad. Breaks my heart.
I didnt think the holidays were going to be too bad but I'm starting to feel a little blue. Maybe I should create the type of holiday I always wanted to have, even if it is just for me. I should decorate my apartment big-time, even if it is just for me, even if it is just spending money on stuff I don't get much use out of and that is assembled in Cambodia where most kids will never ever know what it's like to study at the university of take a trip to Europe. Ugh. The world is unfair.
Another thing I found interesting while perusing Menards (like Lowes or Home depot) was that when I was in Spain last year, the average age for getting married for the Spaniards was late 30s or even 40s. That was the norm. There's really low birth rates and their population is getting really old, but it was kind of nice to be in a place where being 30 was considered pretty young to be getting married. People there lived at home until they got married, usually after having a career for a while and saving enough money to put a big downpayment on a flat. That was something people from there have pointed out to me before, that how amazing it was that Americans got married so young. That and the fact that you could serve in the army at age 18 but not drink alcohol. Some were baffled by that.
sorry there wasn't a point to this. I've been feeling a little isolated and down this weekend....
Re:holidays JDorn: I can empathize, I was outside of my house watching my neighbors putting up decorations today and couldn't help but notice how happy they seemed to be. I on the other hand seem to be stuck in this weird limbo state where I don't know what I should be doing. About 2 months ago my wife and I separated and I was living with a friend, then about a week ago after alot of talking I moved home to attempt to give my marriage another shot, so here I sit more confused than ever about what I really want. The weekend started out ok, I went out with a group of my wife's coworkers and tried my hardest to put our situation out of my mind and to enjoy myself, and I did, but then today I spent the better part of the day going through old stuff of mine (pc parts, books, cds) taking things that I haven't used for years to goodwill or putting them into the trash because part of me wants to leave for good and doesn't want to have to deal with all this stuff when I go. Then my wife starts talking about Thanksgiving next week and all at once the despair washes over me again and I wonder if I did the right thing when I come home.
Somedays I think the ups and downs are just too much for me, and I wish that I had never let myself have feelings for anyone because the payoffs have not outweighed the negatives.
I've never liked the holidays, and with that said, this year will be the first on in my 26 years that I just wanted to completely skip. We've even decided against gifts, as a precaution in case things continue how they are going now we don't want to waste the money we'd use on lawyers.
Re:holidays bamboo: Holidays were always really big with my husband and me. We would decorate our place from top to bottom, and spend all day Thanksgiving and Christmas with our families. This year will be drastically different - we have both moved in with our parents and all my decorations are in storage. I will be spending the day with my family but it will feel different than it did last year.
I even thought about "skipping" the holidays this year and not buying any gifts, or eating dinner with anyone, but then I decided that I had to. Just because my husband is no longer with me, that doesn't mean I should shut-out everyone else in my life.
Re:holidays picadilly: My wife was always the big one on christmas... she would go running around decorating the house, buying new decoratinos each year. i would put the tree up but she would decorate it. & she was good at it. Now, she wants to take the christmas decorations to decorate her small appartment. Me, I feel like skipping it. Just passing it by, I'll spend time with the family but I don't feel like parties much. Maybe I'll change my mind later, the closer to christmas we get, but I'll have to wait & see. being along on the Holidays really brings me down.
I have so many good memories of us together during christmas parties... it would be hard to attend them. Knowing almost everyone I know has someone to hold on this day & I have nothing. Just breaks my heart. Time is what I need...
Re:holidays bamboo: I am boycotting non-family Christmas parties this year. Not going to my work party, or to any friends parties. It is just to soon for me to feel comfortable showing up with no one.....
I understand how you feel picadilly.
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