in times of stress inebr: I have been under a lot of stress these days and sometimes it is so hard to deal on my own. I miss having the stbx to talk to about it, someone to lead and ear, a hug, some encouragement. I find at times it hard to give encouragement to myself and want to reach out to someone to tell me it's going to be ok and that I can do it. I dunno, just venting. I called a couple of friends this weekend and people were busy ...I don't want to complain and I know that people have their own problems and concerns and lives and don't always want to be a cheerleader ....ugh :P ...I just miss having that validation when I loose focus and feel tired of holding myself up, so to speak. Anyone else have that feeling?
Re:in times of stress PiscesGoddess: I think we all do in these times honey.. and we get down on ourselves..and think UG..why would anyone want to listen? but you would be surprised.. people usually do..So dont try to be a martyr.. Call a friend..come to OJAR..vent 1000 times if it helps.. because there are always more people that care than we think. Its easy to fall into the trap of missing the ex at these times too.. ::) The USED to be's of having someone in our lives to comfort us.. but the sad reality is... We wouldnt be needing this comfort right now if it wasnt for the separation from them.. or at least part of it.. I dont know maybe Im not making any sense.. Just wanted to say hang in there ..and remember you are not alone.....
HUGS
Pisces
Re:in times of stress Safetykc: You are definitely not alone!!!!! BIG HUGS!!!
I understand exactly how you feel. Everyone was so supportive at first, but no one has time for cheerleading after a couple of months sometimes...Everyone's got there own problems...OJAR is like CHEERS though...You know there is always people out here who not only care and sympathize...but understand...because we are right there with you...
You are always so supportive of me inebr...don't shy from asking from support when you need it, I am happy to lend an ear, shoulder, a hug, and encourage you to be the awesome human being who has strength and compassion that I know you are...
As for validation, only you can validate yourself, but I can validate that you have had a positive impact on my life with your posts, opinions and encouragement...
Thank you for making a difference and....
HHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEE HHHHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGSSSSSSSS!!!!!!
Safety
Re:in times of stress inebr: Thanks Pisces. You're right. I try not to be a martyr but sometimes, when it really comes down to feeling bad about myself I think I have to figure it out for myself because I don't know how to relate how I feel sometimes without sounding like the biggest whiner.
But I should just vent here:
It's like, my main fear is that I can't do it. I have these presentations coming up not this week but next week for my classes and research and presentations aren't my strong point. Its not that I'm not good at what I do because I think I am, ...maybe it's the perfectionist in me and I tend to want to do it perfectly and if I'm not perfect in every way then it will be a disaster. Or, what if I do something or say something that's wrong? Or what if I appear nervous? Why do I feel this way? I want things to be good. And I prepare, sometimes people have said I over-prepare. I prepare in advance and then I tend to kind of obsess for days and days about it. And sometimes I feel bad about myself over it, ...I think in my mind there are those suggestive voices bringing me down.
It'll go ok. In the end I'm make it through. I just get so nervous and fear I sound and look like an idiot or a fraud. And I'm not, I know I'm not. I just have a really hard time getting through this ....but I can do it.
and thank you so much, Safety.
Re:in times of stress JDorn: Dealing with stress by yourself is very difficult if not impossible, at least for me. I've been having problems for a long time now and I've started to notice friends pulling away from me because they don't want to hear my mopy life story every time we go out.
One thing I'm very curious about is how long this will last, I tell myself every day that I'm done with bringing others down with my problems, but then I'll be out with a group of friends and what do you know, I'll have a beer or two and start spouting my problems. I don't want to not go out and have fun, but it just seems like stress consumes so much of my mental engery right now that i can't NOT think about it.
I'm so glad to have found this board because at least now I can vent here with people who have been through or are going through the same things that I'm dealing with. This is a fantastic supportive environment, everyone really tries to help everyone else.
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