Re:in times of stress PiscesGoddess: Inebr.. I understand I really do.. but someone told me along time ago..that if you start to have those thoughts of What if this and what if that.. then think..okay.. WHAT IF ..I screw up.. So what? And What if you dont? Because more than likely you wont. Its just poison that seeps into our brains at times when we are the weakest.. and we have to be our own antidote.. (spelling?) You are a strong wonderful woman..whom I for one admire.. ;) You will be fine.. and even if you arent? The sun'll come out tomorrow.. bet your bottom dollar that tommorrow..they'll be sun.. LOL.. See? Cant ever take yourself to seriously.... Hang in there doll..
Pisces ;)
Re:in times of stress Safetykc: Those are natural fears of failure inebr....
I feel the same way before a work presentation or school presentation..
All you can do there is prepare and do your best. Have you thought about spech training or an organization like Toastmasters???
They are really good. Do you give your presentation in front of a mirror to prepare? I won't say the one about imagining everyone in their underwear... :-X If you saw some of the people I work with you would understand... ;)
Re:in times of stress inebr: I am sooooo lucky for you all. Pisces, I feel better already. You're so right! So what if I screw up, probably won't, but life would go on!! Thank you thank you. I am at a weak point right now and this is the time to start brewing up that antidote because I'm the only one who knows the recipie and I've made it before, I can do it again!
Jdorn, IMO it's a tough road to learning how to give myslef support and validation and not feel needy or reliant on others for feeling ok about me, I think a lot of people would agree that that is true. But you can do it! And there is always the great people here to help us out when times are hard and I have had to learn to turn to others when I'm hurting because it's not really what comes naturally to me. I tend to internalize. But, as I learn to turn to others, I also have to learn to turn to me. My therapist was talking about this recently asked me something like: "do you sometimes get all sorts of validation and support and encouragement from others but still feel insecure, empty and scared inside?". and I said YES!! I do. so much, story of my life. I am now learning how important it is that this is rooted deep inside of me. There are times I need to be reminded (like tonight, for instance) of my good qualities and need reassurance, but I have to continue working on it for myself. Take good care.
Big huge grateful hugs to you all.
Re:in times of stress picadilly: Yes, today I felt like I needed that huge hug I used to get from my stbx wife whenever I felt I needed to recharge my batteries. It always helped... but Goddess it right, the only reason I felt I need the hug was because I was sad that she's gone. So I can say with some certainty that she would not give me that huge & I just have to keep plugging away myself.
When you get together with your friends, there is only so many times they will listen to our sob stories before they get distant too. no one will want to call you out for a get together if they think your always gonna bring down the party. There will always be a few close friends that will help you through the hard times in our lives. & this board is a good place to vent as well, no one here will tell you to get over yourself... we're all here at some point along the same path. Tomorrow is a new day, it can only get better.
be strong.
Re:in times of stress inebr: Safety, I thought about toastmasters this week as I've been struggling with the anxiety. I think that's a great idea, I'll look into it soon.
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