my wife says she is not sure if she ever turly had a "spark" for me. joe95: I am in a very confusing situation. My wife told me 10 days ago that she did not think she wanted to be married to me anymore. It would probably be easier to explain if I started by saying we were high school sweet hearts and dated for 6 years before getting married. She had a very rough childhood and never really understood love. I will have to admit I was 22 when we married and I thought I loved her, but I know I loved her shortly after we were married. We pretty much had a normal marriage with its ups and downs, but it was really great overall. Then about 7 months ago, she decided that she hated her job and wanted to start a career in sales. It only took her about a month to find a job, the only problem was in was 300 miles from home. I really had a tough time with this, but I told her that we could make it work if we tried. We did a pretty good job at first, we talked on the phone everyday and seen each other on every weekend. However, I recently started feeling some resentment for her taking the job and that is when we starting having the trouble. The week after I voiced my concerns, she told me that she had been doing some soul searching and realized that she is not sure if she ever really had that spark for me. She said I was a great person and great husband who was exactly what I needed at the time we were married. Now she is 30 and does not think that she needs those things anymore. This has made her realize that she never intended on using me, but she did not feel the same about me. She said she loved me, but not the way she should or the way that I loved her. I can't help but be very confused and I don't know what to do. Can anyone please help me to understand this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Re: my wife says she is not sure if she ever turly had a "spark" for me. hudson: Hey joe, sorry about that man. I feel for ya, i do.
What specifically are you confused about? what question sticks out the most in you mind?
Re: my wife says she is not sure if she ever turly had a "spark" for me. joe95: I am confused, because lately is the first time I have heard about this in 10 years. Is it possible that this came on this quick? I really want my marriage to work out, but I don't want her to stay if she is really unhappy. I have been very supportive of her in the past, so does that mean our marriage is doomed?
Re: my wife says she is not sure if she ever turly had a "spark" for me. hudson: I think you have to be careful about what you support her on. I mean, not everything we want to do in life is good for us and often, it's up to our loved ones to offer guidance and encouragment toward those things that will truly benefit us.
You don't have an obligation to support your wife on everything, you do have an obligation to love her, protect her, and share with her what is going on inside of you.
Your wife has ventured out, she's met knew people and she's probably gaining a new sense of independence. So you've taken a little to the back seat. If I were you, I would remain consistent in all your dealings with her. Be honest about what you feel, but don't pressure her. She's a big girl and needs to make her own decisions. But if you disagree with what she's doing or what she is saying, don't be shy, tell her, you have that right.
Re: my wife says she is not sure if she ever turly had a "spark" for me. Samarra: Hi joe,
Welcome...I don't think this could have happened this fast.
I think unfortunately your wife probably was feeling some doubt before...and her new job which is providing her with opportunities of meeting new people...has helped.
Maybe her newfound freedom is confusing her.
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