Re: Obsessing HopelessGeek: Well having suffered from something very similar very recently I can say that option 3 will be the best one for you. You are not sure what you want yourself but you also can't judge what he wants.
So you need to clear the air as it were. Now in my situation I found I was given a very odd reaction to me admitting what I was feeling. But it hasn't really hurt the friendship too much, at least not as much as I feared it might. This also came with the added bonus of her knowing what I felt and it setting her mind at ease somewhat cause she could tell 'something' was up.
Something I was told that night "If the person is a good enough friend then they will accept what you have to say, even if you don't get the answer you might want"
Re: Obsessing whatnext: Chiming in for option 3.
I think that honesty towards yourself is so important ... that's why option 2 won't work... because it's asking you to bottle something up, which is the exact opposite of the healing work you want to do.
I do the same thing: I want X to happen, so I will do the opposite of X so that X will happen, because if I do X, then X will happen (and I'm afraid of X)...
Re: Obsessing HopelessGeek: I think that is human nature. I know for one that if I think to hard about anything I just won't do it because I am so worried about the outcome. That might be why the case of the Jerk wins over the Nice guy. The nice guy will always think too much before saying anything and just won't, by the time he does it's too late.
Granted that is a very male perspective but it's likely just as true in reverse.
Re: Obsessing whatnext: [quote author=HopelessGeek link=topic=15508.msg130950#msg130950 date=1121957903">
I think that is human nature. I know for one that if I think to hard about anything I just won't do it because I am so worried about the outcome. That might be why the case of the Jerk wins over the Nice guy. The nice guy will always think too much before saying anything and just won't, by the time he does it's too late.
Granted that is a very male perspective but it's likely just as true in reverse.
[/quote">
Actually, it could explain the feminine behaviour of wanting to "fix" jerks into nice guys. Because if you just go for the nice guy -- you might have to settle down, start a family -- you know, do all of those things you say you want to do...
Re: Obsessing HopelessGeek: That's a psychological viewpoint I had never considered.
