Re: how long would it take? Suddenly Single: Of course the pain is intense...it is new. Is this first relatinship that has ended for you? It is ok right now for you to feel that you want the ex to return to show the friends he picked you but realistically - he in the end run is going to look like a bafoon for what he has done. If you were to take him back - would you respect yourself? would your friends? your family? He hinted a few times here and there but I did not take the bite. I made it very clear to him when he left that I was not a sloppy second and that he will not go out and find out that it is not greener on the other side and then come back.
One thing you really need to know - this has nothing to do with you. He cheated and left because of something that is wrong with him. Not you. Once you can begin wrapping your mind around that it might be better sooner.
In the beginning - yes I wanted him to regret it. However, whether he does or doesn't - will I ever know? Does it really matter to me now? the answers are probably not and honestly - NO. If he called or wrote me tomorrow telling me it was the biggest mistake of his life - doesn't matter to me. Those are skeletons he has to live with not me.
We all make our beds. I make sure that I am a good person and that I live with honesty and integrity. He couldn't and I can't live with that.
There is a sense of shame and embarrassment when cheated on but really - what do you have to be embarrassed about? He is the one the lied and cheated - he is the one that is making a fool of himself. I'm sure people are not thinking ill of you.
Hang in there. SS
Re: how long would it take? iwill survive: wow! that is a great advice.. im really glad fr your time. no Mam but the first one is a mutual agreement and my 1st bf respected me, he really did and he loved me.. until now my respect for him is there and i really like the kind of man he. now this 2nd bf, this is the first break up i had that i was dumped and rejected because of some ther ogirl. i feel i was trampled in parading to everyone his new gf while i suffer and they all know it. i know i will be over him but till when i dont know. is 6 mos. ok to recover Mam? i wanted to make myself more independent and reliant and beautiful when he comes back nextyr so he will see what he misses.. but you are probably right, by nextyr it doesnt matter anymore to me what he does.
Re: how long would it take? Suddenly Single: The first one takes awhile. Under my circumstances and my feelings that is about how long it took for me with my ex husband. With my first love it was more like a year or so.
Everyone has their own timeline. Hang in there and be strong. It really hurts to feel like you are so worthless to be cheated on but I will repeat the best thing anyone ever told me - IT IS NOT YOU. He did not cheat on you because of you - he has his own problems and that is why he did it.
Continue to post on here and read what other people have to stay. This is a wonderful place!
