Re: So angry I never got a 2nd chance LostTeacher: sometimes the biggest blessing is that we don't do the whole "second chance" thing.
now, i am not saying that i didn't want one. i was more than willing to go to councelling, or get some help, or work on our relationship. but when he decided that it was over...it was over. you can't force a person into doing something they don't want to do. and for whatever reason....be it he needed to be alone, another woman, whatever....he wanted out. and no amount of crying and begging was going to get him to change his mind.
and honestly, maybe that was for the best. maybe i am better off without him. i miss him terribly sometimes....i feel very lonely sometimes....but i don't miss the bad....i don't miss the being put down, the being ignored....i don't miss the person that didn't care about my happiness.
sometimes things happen for a reason. it doesn't mean that we have to stop hoping for that second chance, but maybe it's not happening for a reason.
and maybe somewhere out there right now...is someone that is going to be very happy that you didn't get that second chance....because it will give them the opportunity to love you.....
Re: So angry I never got a 2nd chance kfc75: Oh I totally don't think this a single sex issue, I am sure that it goes both ways.
I have come to believe that it is she who needs to change and grow, and for some reason thinks it is me who is holding her back, I have always been supportive and encouraged her in everything she did, so no I don't understand, and I am coming to accept that I never will. It just seems such a waste.
And I can totally see not giving second chances where there is cheating or violence or substance abuse, but when I have done nothing obvious wrong I deserve a chance to change DAMMIT!
Re: So angry I never got a 2nd chance Ilosther: I hear you KFC. What happens if everything seemed to be going well? Then they just drop this bomb of unhappiness and wants out to find themselves. Maybe it's the classy way to go out. Like in sports, when a great athlete retires in their prime. I dunno, no reasoning will ever satisfy my understanding of her leaving. The only thing I can hope for is to move on and forget all the love we had, everything we had together. Hopefully one day it will be a faint memory, or hopefully one day she will come back and this pain will be a faint memory.
I still believe there is a reason for our pain, I'm still waiting to find it, it may be bad, it may be good. But I believe that 2nd chance will come in the form of something else, something even better.
I've given up on trying to keep her, she wont give me that 2nd chance now, maybe once she gets screwed in the real world from the decision she is making, maybe that is what she needs to see reality. Maybe she'll come back then.
I just hope I'm still willing to take her back.
When I'm angry about all this, I just look at her, and my anger goes away cuz I still love her and have all but fond memories. Aint that the sh#t!
You'll get your 2nd chance, I believe that. You are a good guy, a good father, a good husband. That 2nd chance may not be with her, but you will get it...I'm hoping for that also for myself
Re: So angry I never got a 2nd chance kfc75: ok here is the kicker...
I know she is only justifing herself, I asked her why I don't deserve a 2nd chance, the answer was the things I have done and said since she started this.... WTF, you tell me you want a divorce, start a relationship with someone else, (that has since burned out) and expect me not to be pissed, hurt and say somethings I regret, then you hold that against me.
OK, rant over.. trying to let go of it!
Re: So angry I never got a 2nd chance inthemiddle: LostTeacher, I just have to say I loved your post.
I too was left with no warning and no 2nd chance, and while at the time I thought it was the end of the world, I now realize he actually did me a huge favour. I now believe that it would have happened sooner or later, and better sooner than later as far as I'm concerned.
Also, it has given me the opportunity to meet someone who treats me (and my son) like gold, and is basically a couple steps up from the STBX. I think this is my 2nd chance at happiness...it's just with someone else.
I've come to believe that things happen for a reason. We just don't always know what it is for a while.
Hang in there guys...you will get through this. You just gotta go through a little hell first.
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