no i didn't disappear notmyself: well hello everyone. ;D i haven't been around much the last few months. i have been dealing with so much and didn't feel like i had much to offer. for all of you newbies and not so newbies now i send you a belated welcome. the countdown is on for my divorce. it will be final on 2/12/04. i meet with my new lawyer on 12/2. my original lawyer decided to move to florida, so someone else in the practice is taking my case over. stbx claims he will be giving be money towards the divorce. >:( i will believe it when it happens. i am still dating the same guy that i was throughout my time on ojar. he is still wonderful and it looks like we may have a future. we have gotten a dog together. i am still not putting all my eggs in one basket, if you know what i mean. i still brace myself for him to change his mind. obviously i still deal with abandonement issues. which sort of goes hand in hand with depression. that is what i have mostly been dealing with the last few months. some days are better than others. so i am still hanging in there. just wanted to come by and say hello and say that i hope everyone is doing well. for those first coming here and still feeling the hurt all i can say is that is does get better. life is not over just because you divorce. sending hugs to everyone.
Re:no i didn't disappear inebr: Hey notmyself,
Good to hear you're doing well. I can understand about the abandonment issues, that's a big hill to get over! I had had abandonment issues from a previous relationship and childhood when I first met my stbx. The first thing I did was run, not walk, to a therapist and began to learn to trust him and trust again. I really didn't want my issues of abandonment to ruin the relationship with this great guy (who I later married!) as I knew that abandonment issues can cause the demise of a relaitonship and I really would rather trust and be burnt than never to trust at all. But my reaction to my stbx leaving and having been burnt again has been positive in the sense that, yes, it's good to trust, but definately have to be wise about who I let into my life. That has been the kicker for me. I worked really hard to trust my stbx because I wanted to overcome my abandonment issues but I overlooked so key points about him and his personality/behavior/character that maybe shouldn't have been.
Ok, so that is not a very uplifting story ...the point is is that trust yourself in your new relationship. I hope it is going well. Remember to learn lots about yourself along the way. That will be yours no matter what happens with the relationship. Our issues are there for a reason and we have to give ourselves credit for what we're feeling. We're not crazy, paranoid or unstable people. There are true real reasons for the way we feel. So this is kind of where I'm at right now. Trying to get to the bottom of my stuff, cleaning some serious house. I don't want to not trust men but at the same time I know some men are just not right for me.
Hope things are well!
Welcome back.
Re:no i didn't disappear down2basics: Welcome back sweet pea! It's sooo wonderful to hear from you again! I had lost your email when my computer died so I haven't been able to really touch base with you to see how you're doing.
What's been going on with me? Nadda! Just bracing myself for Christmas...don't know how I'm going to pull this one off....my "bf" is toast - we've been apart now for almost six months. So...I am still doing okay though. I am still looking for my house - haven't found it yet - but still looking! ;D
Hugs honey - glad to hear you're doing well!
d2b
