Re: Do you want full disclosure about your SO's sexual past? Bubba: Well, I think TTBF & TWG, and correct me if I am wrong, I find on this board you have two types when it comes to sex. One type sees it as something deep and meaningful, and others as something that doesn't have to have anything to do with love. Neither veiw is wrong, just different. I guess when it comes to questions like this, I view it based upon my life experiences. I have never been innocent, far from it. If I am not innocent, what do I care if my lover is or not? I don't, just as long as I am the last.
Bubba
Re: Do you want full disclosure about your SO's sexual past? Kat0628: No do not question... I agree with all who have said...it doesnt matter how many people as long as you are clean.
Why does the past matter? The only thing it can do is give you something to think about that is no longer a part of his/her life (which ever the case may be)...those thoughts may cause unnecessary pain...
Besides...you are the person they chose...hopefully forever...
Chasing Amy....thats so true...
The past is the past let it fade...
Re: Do you want full disclosure about your SO's sexual past? timetobefree: BBH, I guess that is kinda what I was getting at. If he knows you, then he loves you. And it feels really good.
Bubba, I know what you mean. I guess I feel that I don't really fall into either category. I don't think sex has to be tied to love. I took his initial question to mean about finding out the past about someone that he had formed a relationship with, not a one-night stand. To me there is a difference. If you are looking at it from a relationship stand-point, then yes, I want to know. If it is a one-night stand, then no, I don't want to know. Because I don't really care.
But I still think his initial question was regarding finding out about someone's past that you were in a relationship with.
Amy ;D
Re: Do you want full disclosure about your SO's sexual past? Bubba: [quote"> If I was interested in someone with a lengthy sexual history, I guess I'd want to hear their thoughts on why they pursued it, what they thought of sex, what they thought of the idea of being monogamous.
[/quote">
TWG - I love this quote of yours, and I couldn't agree more!!!! Seriously. I guess how I look at things is not so much what the person did, but why they did it. What is the motivating factor? Is there regret? Or are they proud? How did it effect them? Does it still effct them? Etc. Etc. I personally look for the reasons behind the act, then the act it self. We are all human, and we all make mistakes. The question is why did we make them or do you even see them as a mistake.
Bubba
Re: Do you want full disclosure about your SO's sexual past? whatnext: Amy -- nice gotcha!
Anyways -- do I want to know??? Um... I don't want the details -- I want the patterns. Like "Oh I've been with over 10,000 partners, but I've been totally monamous during my LTR which lasted 10,000 years". BTW, I think that _could_ be my dream girl. :)
See, my stbx cheated on her bf, with me, when she was 19. She said the relationship was over already, but it wasn't, and I kind of knew that (as much as I -knew- anything at 19), but said nothing. Ah, karma. My stbx cheated on me, and said that "emotionally" the relationship with me was over. It was, but then, of course it wasn't.
As a result, I would A. never ever ever get involved with somebody in a relationship, and B. want to know if my new lover had done the above. I would forgive an indescrition of youth ala Bubba's example (because I have to forgive myself), but I would not forgive a pattern of the behaviour.
But all of that is more about "relationships" than sex. For sex, see my first paragraph.
I would also that I would prefer to have the discussion AFTER I've had sex with them (except for the STD part)... I would want to judge them on the experience, first and them, me.
As a furthur aside (like I post anything, BUT asides): I have a new theory: TWG and Bubba are the same scizho persona.
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