Your Daily Horriblescopes 7/22/05 RecoveringinDE: Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Paper airplane day, today. Have as much fun as you can stand -- tomorrow will be ugly.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You'll find more, and very "interesting", uses for cocktail umbrellas today.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Go nowhere without a flotation device, for a few days. You never know.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
You've been a little down lately, and it's time to snap out of it! You've got to smell the roses while there's time, since you're not going to live forever. Which is good, since you're already seeing hair in funny places...
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Good day to act sneaky. Try glancing sidelong at people, or standing just out of sight.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
This week will find you explaining gender roles to the clueless. For example, men MUST continue to channel surf on the TV, no matter how interesting the show is that they stumble onto. Women must watch what shows up on the channel they're watching, no matter how boring it is. It's just how these things are done. Women commit and regret it. Men don't commit and regret it. It's in our genes. Some kind of adenine/guanine/trampoline chemical thingie.
Libra (September 22 - October 22)
Fortune will smile upon you today. Actually, it's more of a smirk.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Another day of social convention defiance, today. You'll refuse to wear clothes in the "normal" fashion (if at all), and you'll begin all your business correspondence: "My Darling Snookums:."
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
You've been complaining too much, lately. You might find more to enjoy in your life by watching a documentary about a lot of people starving to death in miserable third-world slums. I know that always cheers me right up!
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Today you will discover Pablo Picasso's secret. He didn't deliberately invent cubist art. He just liked painting accident victims.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Things aren't going as well as they should for you. The main thing to do is to find someone else to blame, and move on.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Good day to make sure you are prepared for a big earthquake. Get bottled water, a first-aid kit, canned food, flashlights, transistor radio, sturdy hiking boots, and a feather boa.
Re: Your Daily Horriblescopes 7/22/05 jen: RiDE! I missed you I missed you I missed you and these d@mn horriblescopes!!!
Think I said that the last time you posted them up earlier this week!!!!
I haven't found any more interesting uses for cocktail umbrellas today, though >:(
* lol - these are for tomorrow...so I still have time ;)
Re: Your Daily Horriblescopes 7/22/05 LostTeacher: [glow=purple,2,300"> Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Go nowhere without a flotation device, for a few days. You never know. [/glow">
i know that i am reading this a day early, but....
hmmmmm...floatation divice?? i was going to spend some time by the pool tomorrow, but thought that would be the only place i would need the pool noodle. but at the bar? out for dinner and drinks? packing my stuff? man, i hope that this stupid apartmnet doesn't flood on me 5 days before i leave...that would be the day! :P
Re: Your Daily Horriblescopes 7/22/05 tyrogers: Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
This week will find you explaining gender roles to the clueless. For example, men MUST continue to channel surf on the TV, no matter how interesting the show is that they stumble onto. Women must watch what shows up on the channel they're watching, no matter how boring it is. It's just how these things are done. Women commit and regret it. Men don't commit and regret it. It's in our genes. Some kind of adenine/guanine/trampoline chemical thingie.
ROFLMAO!!! Gotta watch out for me tomorrow!
BBHF
Re: Your Daily Horriblescopes 7/22/05 gulfcoast: Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Paper airplane day, today. Have as much fun as you can stand -- tomorrow will be ugly.
now I am worried......................lol
