Re: My better half is gone for good KoffeeDiva: Hey fcard:
You're probably right about not wanting to know what's really going on. Me? I couldn't leave well enough alone. I'm one of those "sluethy" (is that a real word?) types so I had to start digging. Unfortunately, the more I dug the more I found (wasn't that the reason for digging in the first place?) and the more I found the more disturbed and angry I felt.
Probably not the best thing for me, and in no way a picture of who I really am. At some point, I'l get over being angry about his affair... I know I will; I'm just glad I'm not HIM.... someday his guilt will bubble up and over and it won't be a pretty sight! (Would love to see that....... well, then again, maybe not!) All I can do is live the best life I can for me (they say, living well is the best revenge!)
I'm getting better at living well every day (with a few backslides..... oh well, par for the course at this stage in the game.)
If I were you I'd take riversandlakes suggestion, collect what you can (even if its only small and insignificant to you right now) as you may be able to use it later on (even if only in your own healing process!)
Keep smiling..... we're here for you!
:)
Re: My better half is gone for good TheMusicHasDied: fcard
I have some idea of what you're going through, although I don't have kids. This place has helped me so much, I'm sure it's doing that for you too. Hang in there mate. I think it's very healthy not to hire the investigator, and you're strong and wise for that.
Support -
tmhd
Re: My better half is gone for good fcard05: tmhd,
thanks for the reply, all the support from everyone here really helped me last night.
as for the whole affair situation and collecting evidence, i've tried but she seems to have covered her tracks fairly well. i've run across some business cards with home numbers on the back and made copies, and i kept track of how much she was spending on new clothes over the last month. let's just say she was shopping like a wild woman and very little of it was what i would consider work clothes. but my attorney says that even proving the affair(s) will not help me get a settlement or any further compensation. she says that my biggest strength in this case is that i gave up my life to take care of our child and support her in all her career goals.
whatever, the die has been cast, and it's all in god's hands now. i only know that i want to feel happy again more than anything in the world. i've come to truly enjoy the fleeting moments of clarity and emotional stability. they are few and they are short lived but they are there and they help me appreciate the small moments like watching my son ride his bike, or how good the wind feels as i'm walking my dog, etc. appreciating the little things and hoping that the larger things will fall into place.
Re: My better half is gone for good brokenhearted: Hi fcard, I feel your pain, after 15 years of a wonderfull marriage my wife suddenly said I'm leaving and she walked out the door with no explanation. We have three wonderfull kids who are totally confused about her leaving. I've been going through the ups and downs as you have and like the other good folks who have posted, the days will get better. One thing I will tell you is that if you want your child you better be ready to fight tooth and nail. When my wife walked out the door she lost what ever right she had to motherhood. I'm keeping my kids no matter what it takes but when you go to court and show them that your wife abondoned you and your son you may find no matter how much money she makes, the court will side with you. Kepp strong and fight for what is yours. Good luck
My better half is gone Cowboy12: Welcome FCARD, you sound like a strong man, as your post states, My better half is gone for good, I would argue you are the better half.
Stay strong for you and your son.
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