Re: My better half is gone for good fcard05: brokenhearted and cowboy12,
thanks so much for the support. i am feeling pretty good this morning, all thngs considered. i am so glad i found this place so i can talk with good people who truly understand the pain. for a while i was feeling so boxed in, like i was alone, with only the four walls to lean on and 10+ years of memories and dreams pouring down on me like an avalanche of sadness and regret. i know it will take time to heal, but in the mean time i just want to try and enjoy my son and try to find some measure of happiness, no matter how small.
thanks for listening, it has really meant a lot to me.
Re: My better half is gone for good riversandlakes:
Sorry, I didn't notice the subject was "my better half...". I read it as "my other half"!
You are the better half, fcard!
Re: My better half is gone for good teacherwriterguy: Hey Fcard - come here often. You absolutely are not alone. I agree with you that that's the best part of finding Ojar, to realize that you are not going through this process in isolation. Everyone on here is somewhere along that pathway.
Re: karma and grieving in advance
I agree with you riversandlakes in that everyone feels the consequence of a divorce. The leaver doesn't get a 'get out of jail free' card just because they were the one who made the decision. I just mean that, initially, they are more prepared to handle the divorce because they've pre-thought through the idea of leaving, they've probably come to terms with the end of the marriage more because they've had more time to think about it.
twg
Re: My better half is gone for good fcard05: twg and rivers,
thank you both so much for taking an interest in my situation. i was having a good day but right now the pain has returned big time. i don't know what triggered it, it just suddenly washed over me like a wave of grief. so i just decided to sit down and start pecking away at the keyboard. everything and everyone here at ojar has made a big difference already. i just wish i was a stronger person or didn't care so much.
whenever my wife calls to talk to our son i answer the phone with a smile in my voice because i don't want her to know how much i am hurting inside. but just the sound of her voice conjures up a thousand images and memories of good times gone that will probably never return. i was never a religious zealot or anything, spiritual yes but not really devout. lately, i have found myself holding a small cross i received as a child and praying for strength, praying for understanding and wisdom, and praying that my family will be whole once again.
sorry for the rant, lately i have found that i am very long winded. i guess because i am so confused and trying to verbalize what i'm feeling isn't real easy.
thanks again to everyone.
Re: My better half is gone for good teacherwriterguy: [quote"> i just wish i was a stronger person or didn't care so much.[/quote">
To be strong doesn't mean that you won't care or that you won't feel.
To be strong means that you DO care, that you honor those feelings that you have, and that you allow yourself to have them.
I think you're being incredibly strong based on what you've written.
Vent away.
twg
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