Re: My better half is gone for good fcard05: rivers and teacherwriterguy,
thanks for the replies. right now i am just coming out of the stage of constant grief and despair. i realize now that it is over, i have hired the best lawyer "we" can afford and i intend to fight like a dog for what is right... not out of bitterness but out of self-respect and for what i have given up for her life. i guess you can say that i'm now on the part of the roller coaster where it's a constant up and down whereas for the last two weeks i was completely in free fall mode. i've gone back to some of my roots that i left behind over the years and i'm trying to get my head on straight to move forward. my main problem is that i have few friends, and the friends i do have are happily married. i love spending time with them but it hurts so bad to see them living normal lives while my life and my son's life is in turmoil. i was never that great at meeting new people so being single for the first time since the early 90s is going to be a challenge.
Thanks again, this place has really helped me tonight.
Re: My better half is gone for good riversandlakes: adjustment does take some getting used too - some is an understatement. near-insanity is probably more accurate.
friends who marry their first love or who never suffered being cheated on will not understand. they shall only give you advice that revolves around "let it go. period."
twg, perhaps it's stubborness, but i cannot accept that these people are capable of doing "a lot of grief in advance". karma is the only party who will give them the lots of grief that they deserve in return.
buddy, please come back...
Re: My better half is gone for good KoffeeDiva: I feel for you, fcard, as I am currently going through the same thing. Some days I feel I'm getting stronger; other days I feel I am as weak as them come.
I, too, have found that friends & family have NO idea what I'm going through, and to some degree, I doubt they really care. I've heard the "just let it go" and "get over it" BS to the point it actually makes me nauseus (sp) when I hear it again.
The thing is, for someone like me and maybe you too, we heal through communication, getting it out, talking about it, hearing yourself say it, etc. Everyone is different, I do realize that, but WOW the insensitivity of those who have never gone through what we are having to endure!
I'm so sorry for your situation (another phrase that makes me cringe!) but believe me, I truly understand where you are coming from.
On a side note, there is much more to your wife's story than is showing right now. You feel it and intuition has been known to be right at least part of the time. Do some researching, digging, etc. -- however, make sure you are prepared for what you find. I'm finding new things about my stbxh that I never imagined I would find. The realization of them is difficult to take but I think it's helping me realize just how little I really knew about a man I was married to for almost 15 years. (Very sad!)
We're here for you.....we really ARE!
Re: My better half is gone for good fcard05: koffeediva,
thank you so much for your reply and kind words. i know what you're saying about the rest of the story with my wife. My attorney asked me if i wanted to hire an investigator to find out what's really going on. I thought it over and said no. In my gut I know that she has been unfaithful in one form or another and the details are just something that would eat me up inside. Since proving infidelity wouldn't really help me in a Florida divorce case, since it's a "no-fault" state, I just couldn't handle digging out the details when the essence of the situation is clear... someone has pulled her away from our marriage. nothing i say, do, or learn can ever change that fact. she has moved on, or as she put it "checked out" of the marriage. so i will just try to pick up my pieces and cobble together some sort of existence that resembles happiness for the short-term. long-term, only god knows what's in store for me, but i intend to do my best to make sure this has a good ending.
Re: My better half is gone for good riversandlakes:
no fault, but can it help you get a settlement? compensation?
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