met a player A25: just met a new guy, we clicked immediately and had a blast together hanging out with common friends 2 days in a row (partying one night together and hooking up) but he is very honest and out spoken - so much to the point that he proclaimed himself a player. how seriously should i take him? should i run away asap out of fear for getting hurt again? or do i live life, risk it all, and get to know him better...see if it goes anywhere? eventually ask him if he plans to ever settle down? are some guys programmed to NEVER settle down? I'm 25 now, I'd like to get married and have a family in my 30s....he is already 30 and doesn't appear to be ready for that but i don't know him that well to be sure. I know I'm definitely jumping the gun here even thinking about all this, but just feeling soo vulnerable to being hurt i'm about to put up a big wall with this guy...or I'm about to say f-it all just go with the flow and enjoy the moment. hmmm...he is SUCH A HOT GUY, truly irresitable so I have a feeling I'm about to get my heart stomped on again. oh boy :-( any thoughts? I am going to see him either this wknd or the following wknd...
Re: met a player AmyMarie1972: Hi,
If I were you I would not get my hopes up that this guy is the one. He has already told you from the begining that he is a player, straight away that would say to me that he is already warning me that he is going to be trying it on with other women.
If you still want to have fun with this guy then there is nothing wrong in it, so long as you dont make plans for a future with him, or allow yourself to get romantically attatched to him.
You could always ask him straight when he says that he is a player what exactly does that mean with regards to you. Does that mean that it is just fun for him and he sees nothing more happening than that.
Just be careful.
Amy
Re: met a player little_sparrow: Run.
The best dating advice I ever got from someone was People tell you who they are and what problems you will have with them in the first three dates. Listen.
This has proved very true in my life and the lives of others. Proceed at your own expense.
Re: met a player hudson: Hi A25,
Well, I think one of the biggest problems between men and women is the woman's presumption that she can and will actually change a man into what she wants. As though, her dedication and love will shape him into something a little more husband worthy.
If this fella is telling you he's a player, not only is he a cocky bastard, but he's probably also frontin' a little. A real player doesn't expose himself like that, because to expose his game means giving his up his advantage. A real player has a game and winning has nothing to do with forming a meaningful and lasting relationship.
That said, every guy, imo, wants a good woman who loves him and whom he loves in return. I think we all deep down want the security of a exclusive relationship in which we have true commitment, a commitment one will never get being a player.
So, maybe hang in there with this guy, see if there's something deeper than the silly fasad he's putting up. After all, it's what's inside that really matters. Maybe there's a real person in there screaming to get out. Call his bluff whenever you see him try to play you. And don't forget, Have fun.
Re: met a player Smiley17: Be careful with this one. It's the broken ones who will end up being the ones who will break you in the end.
Trust me, I know from my own experience.
He calls himself a player... hmmm... I've been there and done that too. They like to mess with your head, make you think he's not really a player and that you'll give them a chance. Especially if you've hooked up that quickly.
Be on your guard, girl. Be on your guard!
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