Why is she doing this. Why do I care why? HopelessGeek: I got an email last night from my tbxw (missed the s on purpose).
e discussed the paperwork last Sunday. It was the hardest thing I had to do for a long time. I had to listen to her list dates that the adultery occurred on as I wrote them down. I got some if not all I needed to fill in the papers. Then practically everyday since I have had text messages from her saying she does not want his (the O/M) name on the paperwork at all. No reference.
Then I recieved an email. She said again she didn't want his name on the papers. She gave me another date for the paperwork which occured where we used to live rather than at his place. As if I wanted to know more there anyway. Then she went on to say: "I don't really want to make things more akward than they already are,
but if we're gonna descend into petty squabbling and be akward then I
can contest the divorce if you insist on including his details, and
then we're in for an even longer wait.. Not something I want to have to
do tho really.."
I am doing this for two reasons. So she faces up to the concequences of her actions and so that I can get some closure on this all. I will just have a cloud hanging over me if I don't name him. It will feel to me like she got away with it without facing the consequenses in black and white.
I am feeling awful enough as it is. I know that if she does contest I don't think I have the strength to get through the court. I couldn't face her and him together. As it is now I couldn't sleep last night, not properly at least. I woke up and my first thought was about this again and I just broke down again.
I have now faced the fact that today I need to tell work what has been going on as I won't be able to fake that nothing is wrong to keep going during the work day anymore.
Re: Why is she doing this. Why do I care why? ajw: Stick his name on it.....its an empty threat,the divorce is going to take a long time anyway,and if exposing the OM helps you to move on i say do it.You have no reason to placate your wife in anyway,she and the OM are the ones in the wrong here.
Stick it to 'em
Andy
Re: Why is she doing this. Why do I care why? ChristyM: I'd have to vote with Andy. She's calling your bluff. You still have to do what's right for you and what you can emotionally handle but for her to act angry about the OM is totally unwarranted. You should tell her if she didn't want OM brought into any of this she should have thought about it sooner. She's the one responsible for having a relationship with him -- not you.
Christy
Re: Why is she doing this. Why do I care why? ajw: She's the one who brought the OM into your divorce....she could have left you and then started a relationship with him.....She chose to lie and cheat instead.
Andy
Re: Why is she doing this. Why do I care why? Kermie: I agree. If she wants to fight it let her it will only cost her more money to fight the inevitable. If she has already given you the dates how can she not say who they were with. If you can also see if you can get her to mention his name or the affair on your answering machine and tape record it. Play it back to her and tell her you have the information on tape if she tries to fight it. In my book there are no dirty tricks against cheaters. They get what they deserve. Just my .02
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