Re: Why is she doing this. Why do I care why? sourpuss: yep - it's an empty threat. if she doesn't want his name on the papers, contesting the divorce will do more than put his name the papers.
she'll be defending herself and the affair in a public forum.
i doubt she's got the guts.
Re: Why is she doing this. Why do I care why? microtech1: Hey Geek I agree wit everyone else on this. It's really up to what works best for you. if putting his name on the paperwork works for you then I say go for it. My STBXW tried the empty threat thing as well. In the end it was her last ditch effort that she never had any intention of going through with. Call her bluff and see what she does.
Re: Why is she doing this. Why do I care why? Lumpy: Dear HopelessGeek,
I think you should try and look at this another way. It's always important to stand up for what you believe in but what do you have to gain by his name being in the paperwork? You express that you don't know if you can take the emotional strain of an extended court battle. You're right to be concerned about this. Everytime me and the ex go back to court it is exhausting. Old feelings, once thought to be resolved are dredged up. It effects my sleep and appetite weeks before hand. The anxiety is akin to the period of time when this whole process began. If you feel that her terms are reasonable in terms of an Uncontested Divorce I'd seriously consider this route. The suggestion that contesting the divorce is going to cost her is true. It will also be expensive for you. I would suggest that the emotional cost is also prohibitive.
Re: Why is she doing this. Why do I care why? riversandlakes:
" if exposing the OM helps you to move on i say do it."
I second this!
She is SO protective of the OM it even gets into my nerves - the observer!
But...if you are ready to let it go then please do so. But if exposing the OM helps you then by all means do it! It was already ugly to begin with, and we all know who started it, regardless of whether it was 50/50 >:(
Re: Why is she doing this. Why do I care why? Blueyes424: I must say that I agree with most everyone.....put his name in the papers. If she didn't want it drug through court, she shouldn't have cheated in the first place. My ex and I didn't enter that info, and looking back, I wish that we would have, because it would have made him own up to it in black and white. And the fact that he had a child with her too.......although I didn't find out about that until May of this year.
Make her own up to what she did. I highly doubt that she will be able to contest much since she cheated and caused all of this.
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