Re: Why is she doing this. Why do I care why? riversandlakes:
What is she going to contest anyway? "I didn't cheat? He made me cheat? OM was my real man? OM gave me what I wanted? My vows were jokes?"
Re: Why is she doing this. Why do I care why? HopelessGeek: I am still undecided as to what to do. One way makes the process so much less painful, but I know I will feel worse at the end of it and the way I feel now I don't want anything else hanging on.
Someone said to me last night that once everything is solved in terms of paper, splitting assets and all that I will have a fresh start and can do what I want. Trouble is I don't know what I want and I don't really want an entirely fresh start. It scares me to much to think that by now I really don't have anything to aim for.
I just keep getting visions of me being alone for good which just send me straight into a depression. I was sat last night after friends tried to cheer me up realising that although they tried it didn't work and I just felt worse as they told me stories I just saw how thier lives were getting better every day. Whereas mine just appears to me to be getting lonelier and worse each day. I even just went outside and sat on the doorstep of the house at around 1 am and just cried. I don't know where I am going and I don't know why I am even here at the moment. I was thinking too much about it I guess. But the more I thought about it the more pointless it all seemed. I know this is not good but I just can't find a way to stop myself doing it. I can't find anything anymore to cling to that validates my existance in a way.
I guess I am just being defeatist and scared but I don't know what else to do. This incident just triggered it off again.
Re: Why is she doing this. Why do I care why? journey: Hi HG. There is wisdom in what Lumpy wrote in this thread. Do consider whether the prohibitive emotional roller coaster would be worth much to you - in the long run. She may be unable to contest with facts, but she can cook up dishonest accusations, twist half truths and stuff neither you nor we can even guess. How will that affect you?
Sit back and imagine a happier you. Perhaps in times before you met her. If possible, years from now. Imagine being with a person who cherishes you for who are and who you can be. What should you do now that will make her and you come together sooner and in an emotional state that will make you one day say - I am happy that I did what I did in 2005.
Keep your head high. Snowiest winters always give way to spring flowers.
