bad start to weekend... sooverhim: I don't know what to do...last night i was talking to a really good friend of mine but she had to go to her door and said she'd call me right back...well i was using my bf phone and hung up with her, while i was waiting for her to call me back i opened up his phone and started looking at his text messages to see which ones he had saved of mine...i save all the sweet ones he sends me...well i was scrolling through and one was to his ex girlfriend and it said "yeah i'll call you tomorrow" this message was last week at like 930...all i can think of is she asked if i was around or something and he had to say yeah and he'd talk tomorrow....well i immediately got jealous/defensive/etc. and went and told him i had been looking through his text innocently (and i'm really being honest here) and that why is she texting him and still calling...(side note, she broke up wtih her boyfriend about 2 months ago-he was the first person she called crying and i've heard messages from her, that he didn't know i could hear, saying "hey buddy we need to hang out you should come to my beach house over the 4th" ) when i asked him about the text he got very defensive (which is understandable because i was invading his privacy) and said that she had called and wanted US to go to a football game this year...why would he have texted her back and not told me last week when i know i was with him when she called! he got mad and went straight to bed, and it was 9pm at this point! i asked him this morn when he got up to go to work why he got so mad and he just said he didn't want to talk about it. i'm having a problem because we are thinking about buying a house together, this morning he kissed all over me and said he loved me...why can't he be honest? why is this girl still calling him?? she lives about 3 hrs away and they used to be together about 4 years ago...i think she's trying to get him back or atleast have a last fling with him...when he has ever seen any guy on my phone he asks me about it and i don't fly off the handle because he looked at my phone...should i asked him about it again? should i just not even mention it unless he brings it up? oh and he told me i couldn't use his cell phone anymore...i don't get it....seems like he's hiding something from me...what do i do??? i am so upset i didn't sleep at all last night. i love this man with all my heart.
Re: bad start to weekend... ChristyM: I've flip flopped on my answer to you. I can completely understand how you must feel and I know I would be defensive/angry/jealous also. Saying that ... after my divorce, my ex and I continued to talk. Some days it would be a quick 5 minute call or e-mail and other days he would call me to vent about something and we'd talk for an hour. His new girlfriend HATED this and I can understand why. The thing is, part of what made him call me was his inability to understand her jealousy and subsequent actions so he wanted a woman's advice (I know, it was screwed up but it worked for us at the time). There were times I almost called her to tell her to just calm down, quit being so jealous because she wasn't helping things at all, only making them worse.
I suppose that convoluted paragraph was telling you to decide if your jealousy is warranted. Has he given you reason to not trust him in the past? Do you really think they'd get back together? Maybe just accept his answer and then keep an eye out for further incidents. I'm not sure about the not being able to use his cell phone -- that would piss me off b/c it's a sure indicator of hiding things. It's a toughie, that's for sure. Good luck.
Christy
Re: bad start to weekend... sooverhim: thanks christy,
well he said i could use his cell phone just now so atleast he's coming down off of his pissyness...i don't ahve any reason not to trust him...i don't think they'd get back together....she lives far away and we've even mentioned marriage in the future...it just makes me think he's hiding somethign becdause of how defensive he got. but maybe he knows i will take it the wrong way and doesnt' want to even have to go into it with me i dont know! i hate this...i wish i had never looked...i wish she didn't exist. i do not like her and i've never met her...i just feel like he is hiding her calling, that hurts me but then again i dont' tell him when i talk to my guy friends, they aren't exes but he thinks they want me...ugh i dont know what to do. i guess i'll drop it and keep my eyes and ears open...
Re: bad start to weekend... sooverhim: another note to my post is my bf and i now live together, and are thinking of buying a house after christmas...and getting married soon too...i feel like i've really crossed my boundary this time, why did i do it...i can't quit beating myself up this morning...ugh...and he was supposed to go to my parents with me for the 4th time...this weekend...what have i done
Re: bad start to weekend... scraft: My honest opion is to stop beating yourself, and worrying about it. OK so he got mad which he had a reason to be. He'll get over it seriously. I really don't think that a harmless incident would be a relationship breaker. My bf catches me going through his stuff. He gets mad, yells, gives me the silent treatment and in a day or so then everything is peachy keen again. He goes through my stuff we have another day or so of the same stuff. Then we're back to normal. If he really loves you then it won't be a problem. So, don't worry about it just don't go lookin through his phone again for any reason.
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