I am really mad.... barelybreathing: You know what? I want to unleash so bad.....
He calls me just now, to "announce" that he is coming to town tomorrow and will be here until Saturday. He's edgy, aggravated in tone. He says, "I would like to have my daughter on all day Wednesday. I will pay for whatever it cost you for daycare."
Well more than a week ago that I told him that she is commited to daycare Monday thorugh Wednesday and I would keep her out on Friday "if" he decides to come to town. Mind you he has not seen her since July. Hardly even talks to her.
I object politely, I thought, tell him that he can have her on Friday.
He than reams me a new one. "You love misery don't you. I don't want to be miserable with you. All you do is cry. You always have to be a downer. You can't just be normal. You are pyscho. You are gonna make your whole family miserable too, cause you can't handle anything. Grow up. I knew I shouldn't come. You're just going ot be so dramatic the whole time and scream and yell. And so on and so on, more hate and vile.
Um....what. No response from me. I just sit on the other end and cry. Hysterically. Why is he so foul? Okay, I am hanging up now. Move BB, push the button, hang up....nope can't, I am frozen, all I can do is just sit there with the phone to my ear and cry.
He then says, "I got go, I have so much to do, I will come by your work to see you after I get in."
Um....what. Why on earth would you do that? After what you say of me.
I just hang up. Completely rocked to the core.
What am I gonna do? I must make it clear that this cannot be tolerated.....but all it makes me do is freeze up. And then my little girl.....what am I gonna do.
I want to go away for the next four days with my daughter, but I know the backlash would be huge. I just can't.....
This is pure lunacy.
Help.
Re:I am really mad.... inebr: Oh man, BB. I'm sorry he's being such the lameoid he is. You were almost there though, you almost hung up that phone. At least it was there in your mind. You don't need to hear his BS about "how you are and what you're like"...like he really has any clue >:(. It's bs, and it's the last way he still knows that he can get a hold of you. Take it away from him. I don't want to be presumptuous here, but really, you don't want any part of this man. My gosh. It's just not your problem anymore, his mood, his tone, his wants and needs. Ugh. I'm sorry he's so lame. And about your daughter....keep it as professional as possible. Don't let her feel any of the guilt, remorse or pain. For her sake, try to keep it cut and dry with him when it comes to visitation. If you need more notice for his visits you have every right to tell him that and if he wants to be abusive and mean to you, you have every right to slam down the phone. Ugh. I'm sorry, again. Take care of you. Big hugs.
Re:I am really mad.... EZ: hey BB
man i feel for you. what is his fn problem. of course mine actually lol at me for being emotional through all of this. wouldnt you just like to say get f%$k*d when he shows up at your work. really though why is he even going to your workplace ? i say screw the insensitive ba$ta$d . lol old ez is fast becoming not so ez anymore.
peace and love to you
Re:I am really mad.... shannon: (((hugs))) I am so sorry. That isn't right or normal for him to talk to you or treat you like that.
I think you are right in keeping to your daughter's routine. My STBX spends very little time with our son too and I just finally had to go day to day and not change/alter/drop plans on his whim. He either makes plans to see our son and sticks with them, or he doesn't. It breaks my heart because our son would love to see him, but he's just inconsistent.
I'm sorry for both you and your little girl.
Shan
Re:I am really mad.... justmenow: I am so sorry - is there any way to contact him to say not to come by your work? There's no reason he should bother you there.
I wish there was something I could say - you do not deserve this treatment. You were right to stand up to him. Draw on your strength, BB, you've got it in you. He does not deserve someone like you or your daughter, although he does have a right to see her. However, instead of telling you what he's going to do, he should try discussing it with you. Who's being the adult here? Certainly not him.
I'll pray for you, BB. Let us know how it turns out, ok?
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