Re:My Story and My Dilemma... down2basics: Well...........................hmmmmmmmmmm.........That's certainly an eye opener! :o
(clearing throat) hmmmm...okay....I've been struggling here with what to write to you....I'll explain why later...
First - I think it might have been a good thing to spend Thanksgiving together...I did with my X and my two kids...I bought dinner by myself and cleaned it up by myself...but all in all...it was a good thing.
Then - we too - went to the Christmas sales on Friday...we divided and conquered our objectives...we came back to my place....wrapped all the gifts, set up the tree and decorated it. The difference here though - is after we finished all of that - he went home and went into a deep coma like sleep! ;D LOL! I think I wore him down pretty throughly on the shopping excursion.
I think you're a lot closer to a decision than you're prepared to admit to. You've obviously got a lot of feelings, questions, admissions and doubts flowing through your head. That's okay - that's perfectly normal. You've still got those decisions lying before you. The choice is still ultimately yours...
How do you feel about what happened? Have you reached any conclusions?
Here's hoping for the best for you both!
hugs!
d2b
Re:My Story and My Dilemma... down2basics: By the way Seraph - I meant to ask you - how's your s2bx taking this past weekend?
Re:My Story and My Dilemma... Seraph: d2b,
She's just frickin' peachy. ::)
Seriously - she's decided that this was a sign that we were meant to make it work. All that's left now is the details... :-[
Would somebody please help me put this freakin' lid back on?!?!?!?! :-\
Re:My Story and My Dilemma... down2basics: Well....honey! What is it exactly that you want to happen here? What is it you want? That's the first step in deciding how to put the lid back on....get a strainer....or let 'er rip! ;D
d2b
Re:My Story and My Dilemma... JimB: Man.
I can tell you that when we started on our reconciliation (her idea) one of the first things we returned to was the physical thing. We're both sexual people, and sex was never a big issue for us. It was a refuge for us - something we could both agree on. And it was mind-blowing, which is something I hear over and over again from separated couples.
When you have a comfort level in terms of physical intimacy with another person, it feels so natural to just move back into that area. Especially after a day of quality time spent together. An island of certainty in a world of unrest.
Did it affect our judgment? Probably. But of course you're likely to choose to emphasize the areas of strength you have as a couple, especially when times are tough. So it's definitely a two-sided coin.
My friend, the hardest thing to do in this situation is to ignore her reactions to what's happening. How she feels about it has nothing to do with the decision you have to make. You are making her happy, but you know you're a decent, fun person (probably good in bed too :o), so you know you're capable of making lots of people happy. You also know you're capable of hurting people, and it will inevitably happen. In other words, she is a factor in this decision, but it's ultimately all about you.
You can't put the lid back on, but you don't have to. My thought is sometimes it's worth making a short term decision to save yourself the agony of a long term one. Why not go with it for a set period of time, after which you can re-evaluate? Let's face it - right now you can't imagine what could happen that would make you feel ok with all that's transpired, because nothing like that CAN happen in the short term. Regaining trust is a lengthy project. But maybe you'll feel differently after a month, or three, or six.
And if she reads into it a bunch of stuff that's not really there, you can't prevent that. Obviously, you don't want to hurt her, but if she is determined to put herself in harm's way, you can't make her change her mind.
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