Another day closer.... Safetykc: What a day....Picked up my divorce paperwork from my lawyer this morning...Took it to the "wife" at work...She signed..so everything is complete for court on Monday and we will be officially divorced....She and I had a looooong talk, for hours...first one in a while that wasn't filled with negative emotions...and me lashing out at her or her at me.
This one was more sad...talking about the good times we had...she thanked me for taking care of the entire divorce thing...first time she had done that, i paid for and organized everything...she just signed.
She said she was sorry that we didn't work it out....I told her I was sorry too....So much potential....so many things twisting on the moment...so much miscommunication. We talked and talked... :'(
How I was devastated she left..how she was hurt I filed the week she left...how things may have been different if so many things hadnt happened or if we had communicated with each other better...probably why we are at this point though...sigh...We shared our lives in that conversation...and it was ours to share...good and bad...I don't have the energy to post the conversation...will we ever be friends?? I don't know...maybe, maybe not...but it was a step to something.
So much pain and hurt....for both of us... :'( I told her I started building my brick wall brick by brick the day she left and she handled it by running further away....I could see the regret in her eyes and words...so many regrets...so many missed opportunities... :-\ as she could hear them in my words and see it on my face....It is too late for reconcilliation, we both know that. It was just a sad moment yall....I will have to bring her some things this weekend so it will be sad then too, probably see the kids...more sadness, officially not a dad anymore :'(...then Monday...its final...She is going to come to court with me after all...we went into this together we will exit it together. :'(
Actually, I am ok...I just wanted to share an update....Just a very emotional one.
Also wanted to add, it is great to have all of you to share with and commiserate with. I am sure everyone here is or has gone through days like I had today. Some days I just need to be able to come out here and not think about my troubles in REAL life and just chat and have fun on Its Friday. Other times I want to come out and HUG and support as many people as I can...Other times I just want to come here and throw up and just cry. Today, I wanted to come here and forget my troubles for a moment, but somehow those problems never let go of you in this wonderful divorce drama. So I came here and couldn't forget my troubles and left for the day.
I wanted to post my update tonight though, and to thank each and every one of you...some of you know exactly when a message is needed to help me out when I am having an awful day, such as I was having today....with getting the final divorce papers signed, and dealing with all of that. Just when you are feeling as low as you think you are going to feel, sometimes a kick from left field sure hits the spot.... ;D
Thanks again...I haven't been in a mood to post much the last day or two...sorry I haven't been as prolific or supportive as usual. This will probably be a bad week for me until the divorce is done. Take care and Big Hugs in case I don't talk to any of you and everyone try to have a safe and joyous Thanksgiving...Remember to count the blessings you have instead of cursing what you dont...and eat lotsssss of TURKEY!! then sleep....zzzzz
Peace....and Blessings
Safety
Re:Another day closer.... picadilly: Oh ((((((Safety))))))... with all my problems this last week & your support of me, I sometimes forget that you have it tough this week too. Hang in there, your a fighter. Like Rocky, when things are at thier worst, you stand up, weave to the left & dodge to the right but end up taking it in the chin. :) (did that make any sense? ??? ). I know you'll be ok, once this is behind you, you'll be able to shake it off & heal.
I'm glad you finally had a normal conversation with your stbx. I hope one day I can do the same with mine. To get a few things off your chest & clear the air a bit.
I've read a few other posts & seems this last weekend & this week is not the best by a long shot. Your not alone. Like you told me a couple days ago, I wish I could meet up with you & talk over some beers. This is a long walk we're taking, off a short peir. I'm glad your by my side, along with everyone else at OJAR. You know I have your back. 8)
Take it easy & take care of you.
Re:Another day closer.... inebr: Safety,
I'm glad you're doing ok. Your post was melancholy but grounded. You've got a great head on you and great insight into yourself. You sound very grounded and with that going on, I know you're going to be great. One thing I think sometimes about the whole thing (on my good days) is that my stbx showed me what it is I want, not that he was what he showed me, but now I know and I feel that's a huge part of the problem. Now I know with clarity how I need to be treated, what I need from a partner, what is unacceptable for me to live with ...and then there's all the good memories of the stbx, the fun things we did together that I want to do with someone again. I wish it turned out differently but it didn't.
Thanks to you too for all your support!
I hope you have a really great day! Happy turkey-day!
Re:Another day closer.... heelblue: Safety - You know we are all with you man. You are truly an inspiration and your words are very encouraging.
I hope you have a great Thanksgiving!
hb
Re:Another day closer.... brynne: Thanks for sharing your personal thoughts w/ us. We are all here for you ! I know the pain you are in, I go thru hating my spouse one day to thinking I wish we could have worked it out the next. Fortunately, the days I think I want to work it out are becoming less frequent. I am on my way to a better place, I can see that for the FIRST time in months ! It is a wonderful feeling, I hope you will have that peace soon.
I just signed the final papers yesterday so I know the emptiness that leaves you & the odd feeling that we are now single & divorced !!
Thanks for pointing out all that we have to be thankful for on Thanksgiving & to focus on the positive not the negative, despite the current turmoil in our lives.
Hope
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