I'm scared.... considering: My H is coming home this weekend. Basically, we're locking ourselves in our apartment for four days and trying to decide whether we want to stay married. I think I can already tell how it's going to go though. I mean, neither one of us is too motivated to put in the work to try and make the relationship good.
Maybe the relationship was never good? Maybe it was never strong enough for marriage? We're excellent friends, we love each other, we make each other laugh, but we've always been kind of... um... "blah" is the wrong word. It's too cruel. But we never had much passion in our relationship. We've always operated really well as friends, but in the things I feel like I need to have in a marriage, I feel we fall short.
Anyway... I'm just venting. Just scared that this is the weekend we really call it quits (we've been separated for 5 months now) and I'm just terrified of what lies ahead.
Re:I'm scared.... brynne: Considering,
That is a tough one, I highly recommend a book by Dr. Phil McGraw called "Relationship Rescue" you can get it alomst everywhere. I bought it right after we discussed separation, t would have helped my relationship, except I found out my H was cheating on me & decided I could not forgive him.
But the book is & will be helpful in my next relationship. It points out where couples make mistakes & gives good advice on how to fix it. If you are still in a state of limbo about your marriage, this book could help you make that decision. You can also view Dr. Phil's advice online at www.drphil.com.
Hope that helps & GOOD LUCK - enjoy your Thanksgiving !
Hope
Re:I'm scared.... JDorn: Good luck Considering, look on the bright side, when the weekend is over at least you and your husband will have hopefully come to a decision. Any decision is better than being stuck in indecision. That its a horrible place, I know because I'm stuck there now and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy because over time it can chew you up and spit you out.
Your relationship sounds alot like how mine has gone, my wife and I were always good friends, but we don't make a very good married couple. She even told me that the other night as we talked about it.
I hope you find your answers this weekend. :)
Re:I'm scared.... considering: thanks for the support!
Re:I'm scared.... Buggs: oouuf can I ralate. My marriage (14ys) has been EXACTLY that. aprefect partnership with very little if any passion. We've avoided the subject for years thinking this is what its supposed to be, but as of late we've realized how much we are actually missing. The diffcult part is that we get along well and I guess can't "quanitify" the reason for breaking up our marriage so time goes by and then you realize that the feelings are still the same. The only advice I can offer is that since communication is good, be honest with your feelings and make the attempt to fix/address what you both feel is missing, this way if things should end at least you both knew that the effort was made to salvage your marriage.
good luck to you both
buggs
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