How do you cope JC: **
Re:How do you cope with the lies? DaisyGarden: I'm not sure what kind lof lies you're dealing with, but for me it's him seeing people. He says he's not-I find out he is. His reasoning, because he told me he wants a divorce and it's over, so he feels he can do what he wants and not have to answer to me. The real reason he lies.... because he's in the army and still married, so he could get kicked out for dating.
Re:How do you cope with the lies? ChristyM: This really hits home for me right now. After my s2bx decided he wanted a divorce, I started finding out more and more stuff he lied about. He lied about money, talking to girls on the computer, his cell phone, etc. It's funny, but there are things he has done in the past year and 1/2 that I would have NEVER thought him capable of. It's like his way of thinking has gotten so warped. He has been staying at his dad's until my daughter and I move into an apartment on the 10th and then he will move back in here and assume the house payment. We were over visiting my s2b mother-in-law today (I get along really well with her since they all think he's a psycho now anyway) and my daughter went downstairs and went into the room her dad has been occupying. There, plain as day was a big framed picture of his new "girlfriend". Morgan was aware this girl existed, but was surprised to see her Dad, who just filed for divorce two days ago, proudly displaying a picture of a girl he met online. Especially since only two months ago we were the picture of a perfect family. Since she lives out of town, he has been to visit her once (he lied to me and told me he was going to see a guy friend of his and this is when we were "working on the relationship") and she is coming to visit him the weekend of Dec. 20th. He has proclaimed that she will be staying here in the house. He doesn't care that our daughter knows this and basically doesn't care what anyone thinks. Ugh. How do people change so much? This was definitely not the man I married. Sorry to hijack your thread, but I would say to answer your question, I just try to protect her from his lies and I basically don't believe anything he tells me anymore. I just remind myself that I'm definitely better off without him and will some day have the love I thought I had with him with someone else. Did that make sense? I also try to think of it like this...Every lie he tells just reconfirms to me that I don't want to be with a man like that. Let someone else have him b/c eventually he will be like that with them. Hope this helped - probably didn't help you but it helped me by typing it out and being able to vent ;D
Christy
Re:How do you cope with the lies? ChristyM: I hate to hear you say you are so full of hate. I also realize though that being angry or bitter at least lets us know that we are still able to feel and aren't completely dead inside. The thing we need to realize is that hate ends up consuming us and doesn't really affect the person it is directed towards. Therefore, I try not to get consumed by those feelings. I just keep telling myself that maybe by this time next year I will be in a much better place. I have had SO many people tell me stories of their own or their friends that went through a difficult and painful divorce and then went on to meet someone that they felt was truly their soulmate. Those stories are what keep me going. I'm not sure how old you are, but I'm 35 and I still have a lot of life to live and love to give someone that is worthy of it. I also have a strong faith and believe that God will not bless my s2bx for the choices he has made. Hang in there. When my s2bx told me he wanted a divorce, I was devastated and begged and pleaded for another chance. Now, only 2 months later I can say I look back on those first weeks and think "another chance for what?" to stay in a marriage with someone that had become a stranger to me and was so blantantly lying to me? I lost 15 pounds (and I only started at 120) and couldn't sleep. I believe by changing my mindset and trying to be positive I became the stronger person of the two of us. He has trouble sleeping now and drinks and takes pills. I firmly believe you will move on and one day look back and honestly feel like she did you the biggest favor. I've heard that from sooooo many people. Just remember, don't lose your self-respect. There are other women out there that are more deserving of your love than she is. It's also the greatest revenge to move on and have them realize that ;)
Christy
