The pain of finding out info about your SO! DaisyGarden: Last time my s2bx was home on leave was Sept., the time before that was Christmas 2002. During the 2002 trip s2bx, in 12-14 days, never found time to visit our daughter, who was 1/2 drive away from him. During that trip I heard (from his brother & sister) that he played pool everynight and slept most of the day. And that he was trying to 'hook-up' with an old high school friend. This friend also caught my flowers at our wedding! :-[ I didn't know her at all. Anyway, before s2bx went to Iraq I asked him about Ghoul Girl (this is what I call her -long story), he admits to trying to hook up. Now, understand I was devastated #1 because we are still married, and #2 because s2bx lives very far away from us (daughter & I). But, yet he comes home on leave and tries to date in MY town-not a big town, how disrespectful, and hurtful! :'( He told me that she turned him down, saying that she liked her independence.
I wrote s2bx while he was in Iraq and explained how bad it hurt that he came home and did that. He said he felt guilty and didn't know what he was thinking at Christmas. He said he would respect me and NOT hook up while visiting. He also said that he wouldn't consider it cheating if he were to date someone close to where he lives, but would respect me while home. Good enough I guess, what can I do?! :-[
Two nights ago I run into s2bx's brother. We talk about the last time s2bx was home (in Sept.) and it came out that he was once again after Ghoul Girl at the pool hall. :'( S2bx's brother was there with them the whole time, and he said my s2bx was not beating around the bush about what he wanted from her either. He said she just laughed/giggled the whole time. I felt numb , like I had been punched in the stomach. That's what it felt like. I had even asked s2bx last Sept. if he was going to see her, and he said he probably wouldn't. After i heard how hard he went after her, I'm assuming that they messed around on New Years Eve last year, when he asked her to be his girlfriend-or whatever he said.
S2bx was with my daughter and I everyday he was home, and doing the family thing, and then turning around (lying to me), and trying to hook up again. I emailed him and told him that I uncovered the truth AGAIN! And that I was done. All communication is through our lawyers and he won't be seeing daughter until the divorce decree is set up (which most likely won't be until after Christmas). This is what he wrote back.
"I told you just what you needed to know, my life is not yours so stay out if you don't need to know. I didn't sleep with her so it doesn't matter. You just need to leave me alone and stay out of my personal life." :-[ :-[ :-[
He may not have slept with her (then again what's the truth), but he has cheated. I'm just numb. :'(
Re:The pain of finding out info about your SO! JimB: Sorry to hear about it Daisy. Sounds like you may finally be ready to end your stay in limbo land.
You may love him, but I bet you can find someone to love who doesn't yank your chain so much.
Re:The pain of finding out info about your SO! leem03: Daisy, sorry to hear that your stbx is so inconsiderate of your feelings. I'm sure it's difficult enough as it is to have a relationship with someone overseas. You would think that he would have the common courtesy not to do that to you when he is home on leave. Shouldn't he be able to hook up in some other far off land or something.
I really hurt for you when I read his comments about staying out of HIS personal life. The two of you have a child together and are still technically married. His personal life is still part of your business. Granted, you like many of us need to try & pry yourself away from caring about his where-abouts and try to move on with your life as it seems he has no problem putting it in your face that he has.
I hope that you along with the rest of us here will be able to move on in your life without him. Realize that we all deserve better than people who can do & say such hurtful things to us. In the end we will all be better off.
Now if I can just convince myself this I will amazed!!!
Re:The pain of finding out info about your SO! DaisyGarden: [quote author=leem03 link=board=20;threadid=1593;start=0#msg11618 date=1070125320">
I really hurt for you when I read his comments about staying out of HIS personal life. The two of you have a child together and are still technically married. His personal life is still part of your business. [/quote">
Yes, that is exactly why that comment hurt. :-\ I can not wait until this divorce is final.....did I just say that! ;) I can not wait until he is sent to Germany and far-far away from my dd and I. I HATE limbo land, and I want out!
Re:The pain of finding out info about your SO! Safetykc: And you will get there DG....
Im so sorry he is a creep, but glad you are at the point you realize you want out of this...
Hang in there...My STBX...jeez can I just call her my freaking Ex-wife(divorce is monday) was yanking my chain today too...
Take care and hugs to both of us...
Safety
