The agony & lies continue leem03: So stbx comes home this afternoon to say hi??? I don't know why he came home. Gives me more bs about how he's sooooo sorry this is happening & how sorry he is that he is hurting me. Says he is hurting too. Holds me, hugs me touches me. It feels so good to be in his arms. We shed some tears. His same story comes out again this time. It's not the OW. He just can't forgive himself for what he's done to me. He can't face my family & he is so ashamed of his behavior. That part I know is true. He can't forgive himself. So what does he do....RUN....he runs as fast as he can back to the bar & back to the OW.
It hurts so badly to hear the excuses. I mean I know part of it is true about his guilt. But let's face it, if you love someone enough you would find a way to make it through the guilt. Find a way to deal and his only way to deal is with a bottle & this OW.
So he leaves our house today to go meet with her. How does he do it???? How can he leave me after shedding more tears with me about our life together to only go and be with her???
The Hurt continues!
Re:The agony & lies continue shannon: My stbx lies to the point that he can't keep his lies straight. Then when caught in a lie, he sighs, and says that he never said that (whatever the lie was) and that I just never listen to him.
I think they just lie to make themselves feel better so they don't have to feel responsible.
My stbx has seen his son a total of about 5 hours in the last 3 weeks, but he's telling everyone I'm refusing to let him see him. I guess offering to bring him in the morning and picking him up in the afternoon and having stbx refuse is me withholding our son.
They just lie and it's sad. I think they also like to see us react.
Shan
Re:The agony & lies continue EZ: hi Leem
i dont understand it myself, my wife does the same thing, the beauty of it all now if you can call it that is i see right through the lies. and yes Shannon mine has told so many now and gets them so mixed up at one point i really thought that i was crazy, but when i started listening very carefully and after hearing " i didnt say that" i just sit back now and laugh inside whenever she lies. i do hope and pray that one day i can trust and love someone as i once did, just right now i do not see a point in time when that would be possible, and for that i have my s2bx to thank.
Re:The agony & lies continue Safetykc: Ditto EZ...sometimes, the lies don't spring up in my mind until later on after the conversation, when I think...hey she said the complete opposite a week ago, or a day ago...
Sigh...Trusted her so much and she looked me in the face with those big brown doe eyes and I believed her for so long....
It is hard sometimes to think..or more scary to think that I want to trust someone else like that again someday, dating, etc.
I mean...god...I like to think everyone is not like this...but fooled once...hope I am not jaded enough to look at someone and go, are they really being honest or am I hearing what I wanted to hear...thats where the lies get you EZ...we believe them for so long because on one level they are telling us what we would RATHER believe or WANT to believe rather than what our greyish matter upstairs is telling us is illogical and a lie...
Sigh...ah well...just my 2 cents...I hope for both of us, we learn to trust again....
Take care...
safety
Re:The agony & lies continue barelybreathing: Yeah, it is quite baffling behavior isn't it?
I got the phone call on the way to the airport when he was heading out.
"I just wanted to take you with me, grab you and not ever let go."
Yeah but you know what, you didn't. Talk is cheap now coming from you.
I have learned alot. Guilt from such a horrible act (adultery), especially if they have a strong "spiritual" background, it can make them insane. Act insane and talk that insanity talk. It does make them weak and run away. Cause they can't handle the redemption part of it. It's too hard for them. It means that they have to look in the mirror and soul search why they could commit such a deceptive, lame and cowardly act. Running away is so much easier. So much easier.
Well, you know what guys? I don't know about you all but I have had enough. I want someone who "can" handle it. Can walk through the fire. I want someone in my life, well, like me, or you. I want someone who is not afraid to say, "I screwed up and I am going to fix this. I am going to make things right. I will face the music."
We all deserve so much better and why folks? Cause we give better.
BB
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