Re:The agony & lies continue inebr: Way to go BB, you handled that beautifully. Complacency is nice. You're not being cynical, judgemental, bitter or angry. Just letting it slide. If it's meant to be, it'll be. If he's actually going to go through with his magical plans, great. But you're not "playing" into it by negating (which gives him reason to say "she's so mean, she doubts my every word, why should I move closer?") or by anticipating it happening, which sets you up for possible, if not likely hurt when he doesn't follow through. Calm, cool and collected you were! Captain of your ship.
I have found myself in this cycle so much it's not funny, ...well, actually it's kind of hilarious if it weren't so sad. I think there even became a addictive-like dynamic to it. I was waiting for the next "high" which was when he came back with big promises that things were going to be better.
Anyhow, big hugs!
Re:The agony & lies continue avecito: hi gang
as a newbie here and a newbie to all of this madness, i am finding out that there is a long and painful path ahead. leem03, shannon, EZ, Safetykc, barelybreathing, jerseygirl, inebr, everyone, please keep posting. there are alot of us out here who are searching for answers and your posts are great. it is soooo comforting to know that there are others feeling the same way you are. friends and family are great but if they havent experienced these emotions, they just cant truly understand.
just thought you should know.
Re:The agony & lies continue Safetykc: Thanks avecito....sometimes I wonder if it is helping or just making it harder to let go to keep going over it and over it out here...we will see though...Tomorrow at 9 is divorce court so I am sure I will be out here spilling my guts...LOL
But I am glad the posts make a difference and will try to keep posting as long as it helps me and helps others...That was really sweet of you to post...
Hang in there....You may be a newbie, but tonight on the eve of the divorce i feel like a newbie with this all over again.... :'(
Take care...
And leem....good luck tomorrow...I am sure we will both be online afterwards...sigh....
Re:The agony & lies continue leem03: Oh BB, how I long to be in your shoes. That is so wonderful. My true congratulations to you as I know it was a long hard traveled road to get to where you are today.
This site has helped me more this week than I could've ever imagined. Sharing my hurt and getting replies. Reading about everyone else's ups & downs make me realize I truly am not alone in the world.
Avecito, keep coming back. I know I have been on & off again since May & it's wonderful to still come back and get the same unconditional support from everyone else.
Safety, I'm sure I will see you back here tomorrow. Hopefully we will be ok with it & won't be typing through our tears. But if we are, know that I will very willingly share my box of kleenex with you. ;)
Thank you all for your continued comments. It really does help get me through the day!!
Re:The agony & lies continue brynne: My STBX is a habitually liar. Really, he is still lying to this day about being anything more than friends w/ the OW. How sick is that ? Does he think I'm STUPID ? Come on, I know the truth, the whole truth...a word not even in his vocabulary !
They are scum, I repeat SCUM !! Cheaters deserve nothing from us, those who stood by them, went to marriage counseling ALONE & tried to save the marriage. Only to find out that the affair had been going on for at least 4 months. Sick.
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