Re: Confused and Angry!! fcard05: [quote"> I could live with I don't love you anymore.[/quote">
i wish i could say that. i guess my confusion is how does she just stop loving me after 10 years of marriage and 4 years of dating/living together. if we take the premise that it didn't just happen overnight as a given, then my next question is why could she not come to me when she felt like things were going south before the problems got to the point of no return? it's like she just decided to secretly pull the pin on the grenade and toss it into my lap at the last second. whoops... here you go, life as you know it just exploded in your face. man, there should be some rules of engagement in matters like these. i feel like i was just intentionally fragged in my own foxhole by my best buddy.
take care and hope you're able to find the answers you're looking for.
Re: Confused and Angry!! hurting: I got the whole "I need space" thing..I was told "I am trying to concentrate on my business" - well whatever - I did find out there was another woman involved.
It killed me - I imagined them having sex and doing all the stuff we would do together...It was f**king torture.
Anyways - about 2-3 months go by and I am slowly, really slowly starting to get my stuff together and guess what???? he calls and says he misses me and he made a mistake and he loves me blah blah.
We are trying to re-concile - I know I probably should've kicked him to the curb - but I have a hard time throwing 5 pretty good years away. I will say I really have my guard up and am trying to stay detached until I am 100% sure that I can trust him again. Maybe I will never trust him again..I don't know.
All I can really say - is that you will never get any answers - at least the ones you want from them. I kept asking why? weren't we happy? etc etc and all I got was "I need space" and "I don't think I want to be tied down anymore" when he really meant - "I am f**king someone else who interests me a lot more than you right now".
Re: Confused and Angry!! microtech1: Hey kaya I am right there with you. My wife left with really no explanation and I felt just like you. It is a confusing and hard time! Keep coming here the people are great and will really listen to you and give you some great advice.
IMO it is hard for them to face the fact that they have made a decision that will end a marriage. I got the whole he's just a friend thing and that our marriage was bad for way longer than the two of them had been talking. I think this is just a way for them to justify their actions.
Re: Confused and Angry!! tilly: [quote author=fcard05 link=topic=16015.msg134947#msg134947 date=1122486878">
[quote"> I could live with I don't love you anymore.[/quote">
i wish i could say that. i guess my confusion is how does she just stop loving me after 10 years of marriage and 4 years of dating/living together. if we take the premise that it didn't just happen overnight as a given, then my next question is why could she not come to me when she felt like things were going south before the problems got to the point of no return? it's like she just decided to secretly pull the pin on the grenade and toss it into my lap at the last second. whoops... here you go, life as you know it just exploded in your face. man, there should be some rules of engagement in matters like these. i feel like i was just intentionally fragged in my own foxhole by my best buddy.
take care and hope you're able to find the answers you're looking for.
[/quote">
I couldn't agree with you more, I am left standing here wondering what the heck just happened. A couple weeks prior she was on board with moving up with me and starting our own family. Then bamm, the grenade was tossed in and my dreams and desires just went up in flames. Has there been any reasons given, heck no.... same old thing that they all say... "I'm not in love anymore, maybe we made a mistake, this relationship is dead, etc".. All the excuses for "I want to try the dating pool and see if it's better than what I got, when things don't work out, I will call you up and you can take me back". That's the way things look to me and that's crap, I'm not going to sit around and be the backup plan. Screw that!
