Re: A quick question starzluv: i don't think he really has made up his mind as to what he wants. right now i am giving him space. if he wants to see the kids he comes over if he's too tired he doesn't. i'm not going to say anything about it, i guess i just needed to hear someone else say that my thoughts of letting it go were right. i do want him to know, but i don't want it to have any influence on his desition of comming back or not. i don't want him to come back just because of the kids. if he's going to come back i want it to be because he loves me. i know he loves his kids, he just doesn't always act like it. i just wish the kids wouldn't ask me questions i don't have answers to. when i tell him i don't know, my son always says but your mom your suppose to know everything. i hate not having answers for him.
thanks WhiskeyGirl. i just didn't know what to say to him when he said that.
Re: A quick question starzluv: thank you to all who responded to my big question. i can't really understand why he left, so trying to talk to my kids about it is soo hard sometimes.
Re: A quick question WhiskeyGirl: No problem starzluv.....I've got 3 kids too, a daughter the same age as your son......getting pretty good at the quick answers for those difficult questions ;)
Re: A quick question wowee: Whiskey is right - I have had to deal with the questions too - my son is 4. He use to ask those kinds of questions because of all the traditional family units he would see on TV, or we would reas about in books. recently he asked me if I would find him "a new Daddy, one who wouldn't leave us" that isn't easy to answer on the spot either. Generally I do whatever I can in my answer to re-assure him that his Dad still loves him ( even though I am not altogether positive of this ) and I always make sure he understands that Mommy will ALWAYS be here. I do not want him having the fear that if one parent can leave, the other one might too. He understands now that Mommy& him will ALWAYS be together no matter what & he feels safe with that for now. He did ask me to marry the weather man the other night though... said I should marry someone good, who won't leave us & knows God. He said the weather man always knows what the weather is going to be so he must be talking to God & so I should marry him!!
Re: A quick question starzluv: wowee, thanks for that, it brought a smile to my face.
i think i have it easy when it comes to telling them that daddy loves them, because of all things that is one thing i know for a fact. i can see it all over his face when he is with them, he can't hide it. so far since the separation, there has only been 2 or 3 days he didn't come by to see them. (he just moved out on the 15th) he may not be able to stay too long some days only a half hour, but i think it helps to reinforce to them that he does love them. and they know i will fight tooth and nail for them if i have to. thankfully it doesn't look like i will. he loves them enough to know that they are better off with me and doesn't want to make it hard on them. when he does come over it's almost like there are no problems. like today when he came over we were all out in the front playing with the water hose
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