Do any relationships end normally? (diff. in ended by cheating vs. not) mophead123: I imagine any relationshipe that ends causes hurt of pain to someone or both involved. Doesn any relationship end where both people are able to to move on from the get go?
More importantly, what are the major differences between a relationship that ends in cheating/decpetion/lying and one that ends with honesty. Does the baggage of the former build up that much? Clearly the former causes the drop in confidence and self-esteem, but I wonder what else? I wonder if she had just ended it before stringing me along in the "time and space" scnerario to cement the OM how much different I would be feeling now... :-\
Anyway...any thoughts to anyone who has been in either situation or both?
Re: Do any relationships end normally? (diff. in ended by cheating vs. not) Older Guy: It's hard one way or the other but there are some emotions that will be stronger in one case or the other. Case in point: anger !
Bob
Re: Do any relationships end normally? (diff. in ended by cheating vs. not) charmed: [quote"> I wonder if she had just ended it before stringing me along in the "time and space" scnerario to cement the OM how much different I would be feeling now... Undecided[/quote">
My guess is that you'd definitely still feel the pain and loss, but at least you'd be able to respect her for being honest and getting out of your relationship before being with another man. You mignt not understand her need to leave and you might still be in a state of confusion so I guess it comes down to being able to respect someone versus losing ALL respect.
`charmed
Re: Do any relationships end normally? (diff. in ended by cheating vs. not) teacherwriterguy: For what it's worth, Mophead, I've had both - a relationship that ended honestly and ones that ended in cheating.
The biggest difference I can tell is this - I am still friends with the person with whom the relationship ended honestly. I do not speak to any of the people who cheated on me.
There was heartache and pain associated with the end of the honest relationship, and the two of us didn't talk for about 6 months, but when we reached out in friendship at that point it was okay to re-connect because no one had done anyone irreparable harm.
For me - with relationships that ended over infidelity - I was never able to be friends with them again because trust was violated.
If two people can break up and put the other person's needs first, it can make things a lot easier.
twg
Re: Do any relationships end normally? (diff. in ended by cheating vs. not) mophead123: [quote author=teacherwriterguy link=topic=16052.msg135366#msg135366 date=1122518886">
For what it's worth, Mophead, I've had both - a relationship that ended honestly and ones that ended in cheating.
The biggest difference I can tell is this - I am still friends with the person with whom the relationship ended honestly. I do not speak to any of the people who cheated on me.
There was heartache and pain associated with the end of the honest relationship, and the two of us didn't talk for about 6 months, but when we reached out in friendship at that point it was okay to re-connect because no one had done anyone irreparable harm.
For me - with relationships that ended over infidelity - I was never able to be friends with them again because trust was violated.
If two people can break up and put the other person's needs first, it can make things a lot easier.
twg
[/quote">
Ok, that makes sense. The post relationship "friendship," the one I feel is the ahrdest relationship on the planet. This is hard enough when things end honestly. So I applaud you on your efforts. I have about to ex-girlfriends I still keep in touch with. But on the other hand, it was me who ended it or at least it was mutual so I have never had to experience this kind of pain.
It sounds like what everyone is saying that the pain itself isn't really much different when you are left honestly or left through infidelity (even though I technically ended it).
The pain and struggle you go through though, is it really the same? You think so?
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