Whats the point of getting married anymore esp. in this country? homebrew1969: Hello. I'm 36, live in the Midwest, & this is my first post. Sorry Folks, I still feel like I’m under 29. Just ended a 7yr relationship with a bipolar. We had some really good times in the past (& a few unbearable ones that almost put me 6 ft. under!) I was faithful & loving to her the whole time & even in my past relationships prior to her. If only her "good" side existed, we would more than likely already be married. Unfortunately, I finally caught her cheating. Count those condoms in the nightstand folks! I confronted her & she totally denied it & got defensive but I had her cornered. She kept saying, “You don’t know what you’re talking about & using it as an excuse to not marry me” –LOL LOL……..DUH! (They get so childish & belligerent when you know you’ve caught them in a lie). A few days later she sends me an email fessing up to the whole thing.(Guess her married Gardener w/kids didn’t work out) It was like a scene out of Desperate Housewives. (I hate that show!) What was really funny was her logic. “If you would just marry me I’d be faithful”-LOL..LOL Well sorry honey but I firmly believe the #1 base of marriage is trust. There were a few other incidents that happened prior to that which questioned my trust but I could never prove it (She’s a good at lying, manipulating & distorting the truth) and my family & friends were telling me I was just being paranoid. I should have listened to my gut & ended it long ago. I could write a war & peace novel about everything that happened with her, but I couldn’t fit it in a post. Bottom line is, what is the point of getting married anymore when it is so easy to get a divorce in this country? (That question has been in my mind for many years.) The perpetrator (cheater) usually gets away with murder plus a lot more. I have some friends currently going through bitter divorces & it sickens me how the lawyers will put them up to making false accusations (lying) to get the kids, house, etc. It’s like childish adults playing tug-of-war with their children. And the children suffer, sometimes for life. Children are innocent & precious. Anybody that stoops that low for their own selfish benefit should be executed! The lawyers putting them up to it should be hung too! I hate where this county is going when it comes to basic common-sense values…..not just in marriage but our government, frivolous lawsuits, the biased sensationalist media, corporate greed & jobs, advertisement & primetime TV---It’s all about sex sex sex & instant gratification. I’ll shut up & get off my soapbox now. Those were just some of my thoughts that came to mind. I guess I must be feeling better mentally. I couldn’t function a week ago when I found out the X was cheating (in bed crying my eyes out wishing I wouldn’t wake up.) At least I should consider myself lucky that I didn’t marry her & have children. A valuable lesson learned indeed. I’m far from perfect but am considering some counseling. Just the fact that I caught her cheating basically answers my question of any possible future with her.
Re: Whats the point of getting married anymore esp. in this country? Samarra: You can hop back up on that soapbox...because boy do I agree with you!
You're absolutely right...our collective morals seem to have declined.
Everything is about sex...now I'm no prude...far from it...but what the hell happened to sex within the confines of a realationship???
Promiscuity is touted as the "in thing" to do!! HA...and I suppose STD's are too!
Sorry...but I've got a little soapbox of my own.
Hey chain...this time around...you found the wrong one....but don't let that stop you from searching for the right one!
Marriage is still a great option...not for everyone...but if it's for you...there are many like-minded females out there!
Never give up looking...boy..that's half the fun!
Re: Whats the point of getting married anymore esp. in this country? Duncan: Chainsmoker,
I am currently going through a divorce due to my bipolar wife's very similar behavior. I agree, it is sickening how this society seems to reward the very people who do the cheating and who cause all of the damage. It has created an environment in which marriage seems meaningless. In searching for sites on infidelity, I came across a website for women trying to cheat on their husbands. What are these unfaithful, deceitful, promiscuous women looking for in their personal ads...."A guy who is loyal, honest, and isn't a player". WTF???? There is a ridiculous double standard. I intend on contiuing to be honest and faithful in my relationships (I couldn't live with myself otherwise), but it does not seem that is what many women these days are interested in...it isn't exciting enough. For those who do seek out an honest, faithful guy, my own experience and that of many male friends it seems to eventually end up in their betrayal anyway. One friend of mine now raising his two daughters received HIV as a parting gift from his cheating ex before she left him. Not that the guys are necessarily any better, but I think much of this infidelity and promiscuity including "desperate housewives" is being marketed as post-feminist empowerment. This is all so sick. I just wish people came equipped with signs like "Seeks one-night stand justified as "real relationship" but is incapable of fidelity or commitment". Or simply "WARNING...this person will eventually ruin your life....stay back 200 yards!"
Re: Whats the point of getting married anymore esp. in this country? Plucky: I've been divorced for 2 years from a man with bipolar disorder and I'm finding that not only am I questioning marriage as a whole, I'm scared to death of it! I've tried to date but if I see even the littlest similarity, I bail out. It took me this long to figure out that I had any residual issues from the marriage...who knows how long it will take me to get over them. It's so hard to trust anyone now.
Re: Whats the point of getting married anymore esp. in this country? redmacaw1: Is there a line for this bus? I am wanting to board. My stbxw has more mental baggage than I can comprehend, filed for divorce and is taking me to the cleaners. I feel like a complete loser for getting played like this.
It will be a very long time before Itrust any woman again.
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