signs you drink too much sourpuss: 10- you spent sunday night in jail for cow tipping... with your oldsmobile.
9- thanks to you, jack daniel's stock is up 15¼ since friday.
8- boris yeltsin called personally to ask you to slow down on the stoli.
7- you're now the proud inventor of the "slim jim": ultra slim-fast shakes made with jim beam.
6- absolut vodka wants to run an ad featuring a picture of your liver in the shape of a bottle.
5- without fail, dry cleaner employees greet you with, "hey, it's vomit man!"
4- the doorman asks for your id just to see how long it'll take you to find your pants.
3- out of panic, your liver leaps out of your abdominal cavity and into a pan of frying onions.
2- worried friends call monday morning to make sure you returned the goat.
1- you're now sober enough to realize "drink canada dry" is a slogan and not a personal challenge.
