Re: Here is my story. I need some help. Samarra: I know how you feel...it sucks.
The only reason I'm telling you to give her another chance...if this is what she decides...is because people make mistakes....and it seems to be what you really want.
Of course that was before I knew about the 2 other times she did this...Only you can decide how much you're willing to take with this woman.
Re: Here is my story. I need some help. Shamed: Thank you so much for the fast replies guys/gals. It really helps. I dont have any friends down here... She racked up our cellphone bill so high that they shut it off. So, my only communication with the outside world is the internet right now.
My life is extremely screwed up right now, that is why I want to be with her. Because, I do need her financial support and I just need somebody around to talk too. I know its sounds stupid, but I would rather be miserable with her, than miserable and alone.
Im being 100% honest here with you people... she DOES treat me like garbage most all of the time. But, there are times when she is very nice. But, she never goes out of her way to do anything nice for me. I can sit here and say 100% truthfully, that I honestly cannot remember the last time she did something for me that she didnt want to do... without complaining the whole time and ruining it.
I dont know if I mentioned this in the previous post, I know Im recycling myself a lot... But, she wont even go as far as sitting down and watching a movie with me that I like. If she wants ME to do something though, I better be all gungho about it, or Im the jerk.
She is the biggest hypocrite I think Ive ever met. She is also the biggest exaggerator Ive ever met. She will exaggerate the heck out of stuff, when she KNOWS I know the truth. For example, I was laid off 1 3/4 months ago... My contract expired on a temporary position I was holding at a company. She tells me that I have been unemployed and a loser who hasnt been looking for a job for four months. When I tell her calmly that it hasnt even been HALF of four months, she screams at me like Im the worst person in the world. I HAVE been trying to get a job. I spent all of my savings on stuff so that we could eat and move into a new place and everything else and she complains that I dont make any money. Im on unemployment and busting my chops to get a decent job. But, a decent job isnt good enough for her. She wants action NOW NOW NOW. She wants me to get a job at McDonalds or something else where I can make $5.25 an hour. I have tried to explain to her, that a position like that isnt in either of our best interests. I have the experience and the knowhow to make at least quadruple that amount of money and I have had jobs that pay TRIPLE that.
So, I have asked her to give me some time to find a real job so that we dont have to struggle... That is why she left me. Because I didnt go out and get a job at McDonalds. She doesnt want to come home knowing that I didnt go to work that day. She doesnt take into account that I walk around for hours in the blazing hot Arizona sun looking for a decent job that would at least get us by. When she asks me if I applied at Subway, Burger King, McDonalds... I tell her the truth. I tell her no, I havent. We havent come to that stage where Im that desperate to take a position like that. I could easily have lied to her, and told her that I did. But, I dont like liars... I despise them. So, since I didnt do that. She claims that is the reason she is leaving me.
The things I have changed in the past are this. When we first started getting into big fights.. She would scream and piss and moan at the top of her lungs, and physically attack me. I still have multiple scars on both of my arms from her lashing out with her nails. I would try and calm her down and talk like an adult. I tried that for months. Eventually I would call her an idiot and tell her she was being stupid. When we would make up, she would tell me that the insults deeply hurt her. So, I promised her from hereon that I would not insult her anymore. Well, guess who kept their word. I DID. She on the other hand, just LOVES throwing insults at me.
I guess it comes down to self-esteem. I dont want to be alone, I want to be with somebody. I know what the single life is like and Im not too particularly fond of it. I need her help financially and I KNOW there is a good person in her somewhere. I want to try and salvage it. I want us to be happy. Whether or not that is a fruitless endeavor... well, it probably is most definetely wishful thinking. I cant seem to get rid of the hope though. If I didnt love her or care about her, I wouldnt care that she was leaving.
I know I dont like getting treated like crap. It makes me feel horrible when she does this kind of stuff. But, for some reason I dont want to be apart from her.
Im so confused.
Re: Here is my story. I need some help. Samarra: Truthfully....you don't sound confused at all.
You say quite plainly that you're just with her to avoid the pain of being alone.
She treats you like garbage....she doesn't do anything nice for you and she has attacked you physically.
Does this really sound like the kind of person you want to be with?
Being alone isn't as bad as being with someone like that.
Re: Here is my story. I need some help. Older Guy: Back away from the brick wall for a second....you're just seeing "one" brick right now. Samarra is right - you're not confused - you spelling it all out for us clear as day - you need to accpet the situation for what it is - and as you describe it.
This doesn't sound like a healthy relationship in any way at all for you. Other than the financial part - it seems to me like being single would be leaps and bonds better than what you describe.
Take time to back away from the wall and see the big picture. I don't know where you are, but there has got to be people there who you could make friends with that will treat you a hundred times better than that.
Good luck
Bob
Re: Here is my story. I need some help. Shamed: That is definetely a big part of the reason why I am with her. I dont want to be alone. But, I also have this very nagging feeling that if we got through this trial of life, that we could be happy together. She is just so impatient. She wants everything NOW NOW NOW. The thing is, she is extremely gorgeous... dropdead gorgeous, and I know she can go out and instantly hookup with some other guy who will spoil her and give her what she wants. That really pains me. It makes me sick to my stomach. It makes me mad too... very mad. That I can just be used, stepped on and then tossed into the garbage when her run with me is over.
She can just go get with another guy, leech off him and call it a day. I have spent so much time with her, that even though sometimes I really cant stand her, I do love her. I so want our relationship to be happy and healthy. I want to do whatever I can to make it that way.
You know how sometimes they say women are with horrible men, because they are trying to mother them? Well, I kinda do that with my gf/ex.
The problem is, I AM confused. Like I said.. I want to be with her, but at the same time I dont want to be disrespected and abused. I do love her, but a lot of the time I dont like her. I have this hope that she will change and if I let her go, I dont know what I will do. I feel so utterly helpless and not in control. Im just along for the ride. I dont want change right now, Ive already dealt with too much.
If she leaves me, Im going to have to move all of my stuff out AGAIN... get an eviction on my record, move in with my fricking father for Christsake.. At 28 years old. Living with my father? He is a wreck too. He lives in a small one bedroom apartment that is filled to the ceiling with all of the crap he got in the divorce... And he was SCREWED in that divorce. My mother got the house, the cars and all the money. My dad was left over with some of his equipment that he used to do audio/video editing with and a bunch of other junk that serves no useful purpose.
I dont want to go through that. I just want my gf/ex to come to terms with the fact that life isnt all about icecream and cake. That life is filled with tribulations and that by working through them and trying to make the best out of them is what gives you strength and character. Running away from the problem only makes you selfish and disrespectful.
If she is seeing another guy though and I find out. There is no way any amount of begging or my feelings for her will change the fact that the relationship needs to be over. Im afraid that is what she has gone and done. Went out and hooked up with another guy, so that there was no return. Just to spite me. Because, she sure didnt give ME any loving sex. The thought that she is out giving it to somebody else she doesnt know nearly as well as me, makes me want to vomit.
I keep rambling. Im sorry. You guys really are helping me out here. Its very nice to get responses. Its nice to just know that these posts of mine are getting read by somebody. Its nice to hear your thoughts and points on the matter and I really appreciate it. Thank you.
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