Re: My life is over Shamed: Your last post pretty much describes me down to a tee. Except the work thing. I wish I had the luxury of a nice career. At least then I could dump all of my heart and soul into it. Anything to keep me relatively sane. Now Im just bothering and talking and posting to everyone and everything I can. I cant stop feeling the urge to just TALK TO SOMEONE. ANYONE. Of course, that is in between my bouts of pure unadulterated, body wracking, crying spasms.
I feel for you man, I can relate to how you are feeling. We are both in the boat together. Except, its been 4 days for me now... or 3, Im in the twilight zone now so I dont really know.
Re: My life is over Older Guy: Maine Surfer
For someone who apparently doesn't like to write you write very well. M situation is very similar to yours other than the days that followed the initial drop the bomb day.
My wife basically said the same things to me. So i know how you feel. I had been with her much much longer though. But i don't think that this makes the pain any harder or easier one way or the other.
I also have a great job, with unbelievable pay and provided a great life for our family. Unfortunately, my job took over my life and i forgot to pay attention to my wife. She loved the security and safety that the relationship brought her, but i let her cup run empty.
The most that we can hope for now..is to learn from our experience. It would be good if you could talk things out like i was able to with my wife. It really helped. I can't see any harm in calling her and talking about where you go from here. Try not to lose it when you're on there. Tell her that you love her and ask if there is any chance to try again. If she says no do not beg her. Talk about what the next steps are and give her her space.
Hang in there ...you'll make it through this and should try to make your past your teacher for the future.
Best wishes, Bob
Re: My life is over maine surfer: Thank you all guys. You are really helping.
I'll definetely come back. I have no more place to go. I desperately hope it'll be over soon.
Re: My life is over bjs2005: Maine,
I was in the same boat at work about 6 weeks ago. People could sense my pain, no one asked me for anything. Eventually everyone found out what happened and handled me with care. When you say you don't care about anything anymore, I can relate, and that feeling hasn't really decreased proportionally to the sadness. However, now I am taking social risks I wouldn't normally have taken because the way I feel, my X has disgraced me worse than any other person could so there is nothing that anyone could say or do to me that would make me feel any worse. So I really don't care what I think of others or what they think of me. Everything I do nowadays is for ME, because I've learned that the only person in this world that you can trust, is YOU. Everyone else either wants to use you, or use you to get to what they want.
So, that being said, you need to do for YOU now. She's gone, not coming back, but you're still here. You're someone worth knowing, you will go on, you are someone worthy of loving. Grieve, cry, beat a pillow, destroy something that reminds you of her, do whatever you need to get it all out.
Then move forward, one step at a time. It is going to take time, but you will find it gets better and better until you no longer feel a constant sadness like you feel now.
I'm finding the biggest problem is that I have too much freedom now, too many options, I don't know what to do. Options are good, you have them too, you just don't realize it now.
Re: My life is over Shamed: Hey man, we are all here for ya.
You should keep on with your journal if it makes you feel better. Its a distraction for both you and the rest of us who are dealing with these same kind of issues. Unfortunately, the pain wont be over soon. Its a rough road ahead of you. But, some good does come out of it. You come out of it wiser. Pain has a funny way of molding you into a stronger person if you handle it right. Don't give up and try and turn this around into something positive if you can. Even if you are only convincing yourself at this point that it is positive. Stay busy and right now just worry about yourself. Do everything for you and nobody else. That is what your ex is doing.
Time to think about yourself. (Yes, I am trying to convince myself too)
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