Was I that Bad? avoj: It has been 7 days since I last saw her. I started thinking about some things. Was I physically and verbally abusive? She acted like I was. When all of this break-up crap started she was still living with me. I remember crying and trying to talk to her about what has happened between us. All she did was yell at me and tell me she didn't want to talk. That she is tired of me being so whiney and needy all of a sudden and tired of me bringing it up all the time. (But she wouldn't talk to me about it, she would rather talk to that girl). I got up to sit on the couch and she yelled at me "Don't come towards me like that" and acted all scared.
Yes when this first started happening I was upset, emotional wreck, she wasn't communicating, disappearing, being secretive and mean to me. One night she came home late and acted all pissed off b/c I turned the computer off. I got up and yelled at her, pushed her up against the wall. I didn't mean it. My emotions were wild.
Yes we argued a lot over stupid stuff. Sometimes we smacked each other.
Was I abusive? She acts like I was. She would tell me I am just like my father.
She was controlling, manipulative. I have no friends b/c she wouldn't allow it. It was her and I together 24 - 7. If I wouldn't go with her somewhere she would get angry. I couldn't even go to my best friends wedding b/c she was worried I would do something bad with someone else. She would say stuff like "When you lose all this weight you are going to leave me for someone else." She would also say stuff like "If I leave what are you going to do? You don't know how to cook? You will get fat."
She did everything for me, cooking, pay the bills, everything. She acted like I never did anything for her. That I was a taker all she did was give.
I let her use my credit cards, I bought her clothes when she wanted something, I helped her pay for her car when the brakes were bad.
I just don't understand. How can someone tell me they Love me so much back in April now all of a sudden tell me the don't love me, don't want me, hasn't loved me for a long time, that we aren't compatiable?
Re: Was I that Bad? hybrid: SAME thing with me, i got love letters that i showed this animal and said "tell me it was you who wrote this, please" and she replies "oh that was only how i felt back than, now is different"
GRRR..
and they ask why do i go crazy.. things like that drive someone crazy.
Re: Was I that Bad? Lumpy: Hate to say this but physical abuse is one line you can NEVER cross. My ex is also very controlling and manipulative. Doesn't give us the right to retaliate physically. Sounds like we both have similar temperments. I learned that once the heat was turned up to a certain degree I gotta walk! Punch a wall, kick a door, whatever gives you that release, but stay away from the object of your anger.
Re: Was I that Bad? little_sparrow: I got up and yelled at her, pushed her up against the wall. Sometimes we smacked each other. Was I abusive?
Yes. You were abusive. Not saying she was an angel either but to answer your question, yes you were abusive.
It sounds like there was abuse on both sides and it was an unhealthy relationship all around.
