Need a stupid question answered--Any ideas? ColoHill: So, one of the biggest excueses for his cheating and his unsure feelings about our marriage was the stress in his life. There was so much stress that he couldn't deal with me and our family. So not long into it, a repo company came and picked up his truck. Now he is getting it back and says how we look like we will be okay now. He was talking about how we can move onto our future together and how having his truck paid off will be so good for us both. What the freak does that have to do with us and our marriage and if we should stay married or not? How can something as stupid as that be the decideing factor? I so don't get it. I know some of you will be able to rationalize this and explain it to me so please do so. I don't understand. To me, that is shallow self-involved thinking. Help!?!?
Re: Need a stupid question answered--Any ideas? Thinkin: Hi missing,
Stress is a bad thing and can make things worse but it is no reason to cheat or give up on your partner. Is that going to relieve stress or just add to it? I think it would add to it. I had a ton of stress and things going on but I hung in there and it was my no bill paying wife that screwed up. I ended a biz, claimed bankrupt, started a new biz, got engaged, planned and paid for the wedding myself, got married, and within two months she was the one that got close to someone. So who knows but if it was the stress that did it I think I should have been the one to get close to someone else and not her.
I wouldn’t let him use that as an excuse, it’s a pretty poor one at that.
Take Care,
Thinkin
Re: Need a stupid question answered--Any ideas? Failedjedi: Stress was his reasoning for cheating ?
Did you make him feel wanted in the bedroom ?
Did you really make him feel special and attractive as a man ?
If you did those things
He was one lucky bastard and HE HAS NO DAMN EXCUSE
if you didnt then that is a good start and reason for him because he wasnt getting his needs as a man met.
If you really did those thing for him then he is a GRADE A IDIOT
TRUCK what the fuck does that have 2 do with love. Stess ..... sounds like a load of horse manure to me.
It Takes 2 to make a relationship work and only 1 to destroy it >:(
Re: Need a stupid question answered--Any ideas? ColoHill: Jedi,
I told him that you can tell a good marriage by stress. I well working married couple turns to eachother and leans on eachother through times of stress. A poor marriage pushes their partner away. Guess where we would be?
I tried my hardest to make him feel wanted, special, and attractive. When I would pay him compliments, he would just answer with a "whatever" or a "yeah" with a roll of the eyes. I did my part to take care of him in the bedroom. Usually, if it was me trying to start something, he had gotten to this point he would push me away or roll over. He blamed that on stress, which I can understand I guess. I don't want to do anything like that when I am super stressed.
As far as your what does the truck have to do with love comment, I too am asking that question with no real answer from him other than the stress being behind and having it reposessed caused. Thanks for the response.
Re: Need a stupid question answered--Any ideas? charmed: Stress often drives people to their compulsions or addictions. The compulsions or addictions are like a fix - they counteract the anxiety or stress. When life is good (getting the truck back), they don't need a fix (the other woman, running away aka "the escape"). When it gets stressful again, they need their "fix". Just like a drug addict.
Now, this does not mean that everyone that cheats fits this profile, but it is something to give thought to, especially if there is a pattern.
This does not excuse the cheater either, but may give you some insight as to the ODDITY of this situation.
I could write more about this, but am getting company LOL
`charmed
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