Re: do they stay with the OW/OM?? sourpuss: i personally think that certain personality types "go together". spender/saver, caretaker/victim, grasshopper/ant, etc.
my stbx is the grasshopper, i am the ant. i am the responsible one and that enabled him to have the relatively relaxed & easy life he had. i'm not complaining, it worked for me as well. i thought we were a team, bringing different things to the table. the ow was the grasshopper in her marriage as well.
i don't think they can last in the long run, because SOMEBODY has to do the "work" part, and neither one of them seems to want to. it'll go on a while, but eventually it just won't be fun anymore & one of them will bail. just like they did to their spouses.
Re: do they stay with the OW/OM?? homebrew1969: A lot of emotions running thru these past threads folks! Nothing wrong with that at all. It's funny how we go back & forth with our thoughts. Guess thats part of the recovery process. I have experienced the whole range the past couple of weeks as I'm sure many of you have too. IE: wishing she'll fall flat on her face with regret & painful remorse, get run over by a bus, etc. etc...
Even though we all have a right to be angry, Truly speaking, I would never wish her ill will or malice. The things she did and does in the future is her choice (not mine) & I have to accept that(That is the hard pill to swallow.)
Thinking bad angry thoughts about her only hurts myself. - easier said than done. Well,I need to get out of here for awhile. I'm off to the library :)
I'll be back.
Re: do they stay with the OW/OM?? melissa: I know my ex recently married his OW that he cheated on me with and ultimately left our marriage for her. I don't know exactly when the affair started but the ex and I separated in January of 2004 when I gave him the end or leave ultimatum. Do I think he is happy? Not really. I do think he is determined to prove to the world that he didn't make a mistake and what he did wasn't wrong. I also think it greatly upset him when he heard I had recently gotten remarried, and all of a sudden a couple of weeks later he married her. (they hadn't been "engaged" or anything) She has been married before and cheated on her former husband. I don't see this marriage being a long term success. I can admit that my first thought was that I wished she had already dumped him, but in the long run his marrying her will bring out the karma of what goes around comes around.
Re: do they stay with the OW/OM?? abc123: in my case shes engaged to him and supposedly they are the 'perfect couple' from waht i hear.
hes succesful, respected in the community etc...
it seems like shes over all her 'problems' she had....
makes me feel like sh*t sometimes though.....
Re: do they stay with the OW/OM?? dgiirl: aww abc, I'm so sorry :( As tough as it is, you just have to move on. Stop focusing on them and start focusing on yourself. I read that when we're angry at our ex's, we're usually jealous of something they have that we want for ourselves. When we stop being jealous, we stop being angry and start moving on. I know I was angry that my stbxh was in a new relationship, but in reality I was insecure I couldnt find a new love and was jealous that he already has one. But now I'm not as insecure as I was, and I'm no longer jealous of them. I'm going to take back my life and make myself happy!
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