I am sure some of you felt this way....what does it mean? ConfusedOOC: .
Re: I am sure some of you felt this way....what does it mean? Older Guy: Yes - i have and am going through the kind of the same process but with different circumstnaces.
The fear of moving on even when we know we have to is a strong emotion to deal with. Sounds to me like you already know what you need to do.
Bob
Re: I am sure some of you felt this way....what does it mean? Failedjedi: I have gone through something similar.....
my best advise and I am no Professional is this and I dont think you can go wrong...
1. Know yourself and accept what you can accept and be true to yourself, even the dark side which we all have
2. Go get professional one on one help
3. Realize she is the one that stepped out of the marriage and you can DO better thats harsh but true, everyone that is faithful deserves a faithful partner.
4. Know the choices you make are yours alone and you are accountable for the good and bad
5. Realize that sometimes a sinking ship cannot be saved, some can but most often its best for you and your children to get out if its gone to this point, generally speaking
6. Are you getting your needs met ? If not will they ever be met ? if the honest answer is NO then you have your answer plain as day
7. Relaize that ALL of us deserve to be Happy and feel a certain way
8. CHEATING IS NEVER COOL, its the cardinal sin in a marriage , not only you would have to be strong to get over it but she would have to be equally strong if not stronger some people are not cut out for that and rightfully so
9. IF you take your time and become well and centered in time you can and WILL meet somone that will treat you and your child right "fact"
10. Be cool and be kind, be strong and be fair, realize you are human and my heart goes out to you.....
AN OLD Failed Jedi
Re: I am sure some of you felt this way....what does it mean? ajw: If you cant forgive her then you have to divorce,for your sake and hers....the longer you drag this out the more likely she is to resent you when you do divorce.
See a counsellor too....just you......they can help you get to a place where you feel better about getting a divorce though still being a parent too.
Good luck
Andy
Re: I am sure some of you felt this way....what does it mean? WhiskeyGirl: Confused......do you still love your wife? Do you want to work it out? or is it just that you are afraid of moving on? I think mabey you do need a little more time, mabey you could see a counsellor on your own for a bit to help you see the answers to these questions. Alot of times I think we get caught up in what others think, if I take her back I will look like a chump obviously that adds to the hurt you are already feeling but it shouldnt make or break your marriage. Do you think you can forgive her? Do you believe she knows what a mistake she made, is truely sorry, and would never do it again? If you dont think you can ever forgive her, I mean really forgive her, than you should get a divorce....there is no hope if you cant start fresh, that resentment and anger will tear you apart. i am sorry you had to go through this, it sucks, but if you do want your marriage and your family back, it is possible. Is it worth it to you? You do have it in you to forgive her, it is your choice....but you cant make her pay for her mistake for the rest of her life either, thats not fair and it doesnt work. Whatever you decide, make sure you are positive you are doing whats right for YOU, what do YOU want to see happen? Good luck to you!
Whiskey
