Rose-tinted spectacles? andypandy79: My ex-girlfriend left me six months ago after seven years together and I still feel devastated. Had you asked me when I was with her whether she was 'the one' for me I expect the answer would have been no! We never did anything together any longer, weren't interested in each other's interests or life and we had an ice cold life in the bedroom.
However I never thought of leaving her - but neither did I think about marrying her in the near future. Now she's gone though I miss her so badly and can't bear the thought of life without her. She was my first love and I can't think of life without her in it. I see her as the perfect girl and the only one for me and that everything that went wrong was down to me. Is it natural to look back on your lost love and see it in a better light than you did at the time, or was she perfect and I just took her for granted?
I know that no-one I've met in the last six months comes close to her so I'm fearing its just that I took what I had in my life for granted and I've screwed everythiong up!
Re: Rose-tinted spectacles? Older Guy: Don't the answer to your question...but "rejection" can play some very tricky games with our minds. Only you can figure this out, but i'm pretty sure the answer lies in the 1st and 2nd paragraph of your post.
Best wishes,
Bob
Re: Rose-tinted spectacles? whatnext: Hey Andy,
As for the not meeting new people, I think you would have a hard time meeting somebody "as good" as her. You'll know when you meet somebody so good you don't even think of your ex. And I'm guessing it will take longer than 6 months.
You sound a lot better than a month ago -- keep up the good work!
John
Re: Rose-tinted spectacles? andypandy79: I read somewhere that if you miss and pine for specific things about the person then its them you miss but if its specific things about the relationship that you miss then you miss being in a relationship rather than the person per se.
Sure, I miss her but mostly I miss the companionship, the love, the support, the stability, the security and the affection. Being in a relationship makes you feel accepted, whole and needed - that's what I miss the most and hopefully we can all find that if we meet someone compatable whoose interests and values we share?
Re: Rose-tinted spectacles? whatnext: I agree with what you read. Good work.
