anyone else get lost in memories? jujubee: just curious if anyone else has gone through this? lately i've been "daydreaming" of sorts. sometimes i find myself remembering certain moments in my marriage that were great. when we first bought our house, going to the pumpkin patch in the fall, vacations, and even just lounging around the house. we were so happy once and even though i know things are very different now i can't help but wondering what went wrong and why neither one of us saw it coming. do i actually miss him? or just the idea of having someone? or the fear that all i'm going to have is memories and never be able to feel that way again? i can no longer tell the difference. i read in one of those 'self help' books that you need to step out of the past and look/live in the present. and that makes sense but sometimes the memories are so overwhelming that i can't control the tears. is anyone on this site someone who has been divorced but is in either a healthy/happy marriage/long term relationship now? i just need some hope. :'(
Re: anyone else get lost in memories? willow78: :-\Well jujubee, I don't know how much help I can be, but I also am going through what you are. I have been divorced since April, my husband left me for another woman. Our marriage was not bad at all, in fact we were only married a year when I found out things were ending. I still love him dearly, and every now and again memories come flooding in on me and make me cry and want to scream. I have been dating a man for 4 months now, he just got divorced in July. We have fun together, yet he isn't over his ex yet, and she won't let him be. I still love my ex, but I know i have to go on with my life, as hard as it is to let go. Actually I will never totally let go, I will probably always have a string attached to him. But, I have feelings for this other man, and I hope we can both get our stuff together one day, and have a serious loving relationship. We really like each other, and care about each other, so , who knows? So yes, I would say there is hope, of course there is. Just because you were thrown away by one person, doesn't mean you are no good for everyone else! Do not judge yourself by one persons actions! They are not dictators of the world, their opinion of you or what happened in your relationship has nothing to do with what the next person is going to think or feel about you. Life stinks! But there is someone out there for everyone, we just made the wrong chioce apparently. One day soon we will get it right, hang in there and keep a positive attitude, it will show, you never know who you are going to run into! Good luck!!
Re: anyone else get lost in memories? judy: Yes, I seem to dwell in the memories as well. I try to stop them by forcing myself to remember how badly he treated me in the last couple of months. How he put the OW above me and how he emotionally drifted to her and basically started not caring about me. Focus on the bad for a bit, it really helps me on those weepy days.
hang in there
Judy
Re: anyone else get lost in memories? hudson: hey jujubee. I hear ya. I find myself reminiscing about my exw from time to time. Over the last month or so, reflections have been deep and have spurned emotions that, are not so much painful as the are revelatory. The farther I move away from my divorce and all the pain, the better I become at reflecting on the good things and the bad things.
I just think I'm putting the past into perspective. I'm managing it. But sometimes I do feel the sadness when thinking back, it just doesn't overtake me as it did before.
take care :)
Re: anyone else get lost in memories? reck: Yes i was going along quite nicely till a couple of weeks ago when i had a power cut.....the memories came flooding back of previous power cuts with her....searching for candles, joking about it, early to bed.....the whole memory thing has started again. damn it.
Click More for the next page.
