I really don't know what to think. Emotional Mess: My ex and I have been apart for a little over 4mos, the divorce was final June 20th; well a week after the divorce was final we started hanging out and talking on the phone. I want him back so bad but he says he just wants to see what happens. For those of you who do not know my story I will tell you; he had an affair. Well, we've been seeing eachother more lately and we had a little talk last night; I said to him that I hope he is willing to try with us and he said if he wasn't willing to try then we wouldn't be as far as we are now. Towards the end of our marriage it was pretty bad and I really see that this could be a 2nd chance for us. I just don't really know if I see him wanting to get tied down to me again; I mean I am and pretty much always have been a negative thinker but I just can't help but think that. I really want us to start over again, a fresh start and he said if we do get back together he would want the same thing. We are getting along really well; better than we did when we were married so I guess that could be a good sign. I guess I just want to know if it's possible that we can start all over and things could be better this time than they were last time. I love this man, my heart 100% truly belongs to him and I just want to be with him. I know it will be hard at times because of what happened in the past but I am willing to try.
Re: I really don't know what to think. DownInTX: You didn't mention it but there is the trust issue to think about. If he had an affair, are you going to be able to trust him in the future?
I know it's easy to ignore the affair and think it'll be different because things feel good between the two of you right now. But the person you see when things are good isn't the person you need to really evaluate. It's who they are when things are difficult that you have to be sure of.
For me, a person having an affair is much more about who they are than the relationship. I understand the relationship may have suffered and this caused them to look elsewhere. But the right course in this action is to fix or end the relationship first.
Do you think you'll be able to trust him even when things get rough?
Re: I really don't know what to think. Emotional Mess: :'( I am so confused!! I admit that all I am really concentrating on right now is getting him back and I know I should be thinking about what has happened and if it will happen again. All I do know for sure is that I want to be with him; I want to spend the rest of my life with him but I just don't know if he feels the same. Oh and he didn't only have an affair; he is also a drug addict and I truly believe that if it weren't for the drugs the affair never would have happened.
Re: I really don't know what to think. Need Help: samething for me, the samething but i don't know who to let go i want to let go because it keeps hurting, he all of a sudden wanted to have break, his bro was turning 21 and wanted to party that was my xcuse 4 him at the time it was obviously someone else i drove myself crazy trying to figure out who, why...i left the house he didn't stop me but i wanted him back i begged and begged and 4 him it was fun he was having both ways... been married for 11yrs have 2 girls and i try and try i took him again when it seem like things were going to be better he started coming around would spend the nights only nights but during the day i hardly ever hear from him, he would but the taught of him been with her were still there, n all he did was twist things around blaming me for what he was doing, now i know i don't want him gone but i also don't want him to still be doing this to me and having it both ways i love him like if it the last person on earth.....how do i let go, he has chosen her over me/our girls so many times that i just don't know how to try, but i want him back....
Re: I really don't know what to think. d00mer: In my experience, what works is playing hard to get . In order to play hard to get well, you have to superficially, seemingly separate yourself. You can still think about him every day or all the time, but what you DO should show a different picture: reply a little late, have him call first, go out with others when he thought you would be home calling him or similar. If a man cannot tell what is going on he is way more interested. They like some mystery and a woman being set up for herself a bit. They don't like begging or seeing intentions to "get them".
The catch is - I went through that myself - that in the playing hard to get process, you may get really emotionally separated more than you intended to. Sometimes you stop wanting him back...
