Emotional danny: Sorry if too long.
I met my wife 19 years ago, when she was 12 and I was 14. I was friends with her brother. I always just though of her as his sister nothing else. When she was 17 and we both were working together at the same job I started to fall in love with her. She is a sweetheart and loves people but she didn't have to many friends at all, her mom was pretty much her friend. She has some problems, she developed slow mentally and stuggled in school. In some pictures of her when she was little she did seem to look as she had down syndrome some. She has easy going parents. They never mad them responsable for their actions, it was always poor them. I was good friends with her brother for a long time. I fell in love with this girl bad, I mean bad. We would talk at work a lot and seeing how sweet she was and how she loved this poor old lady with no family at a old folks home, my heart just went all crazy.
I told her brother and he always wondered if I liked her. He was all for it at first. Her mom was all for it also, at first. It took months to finally convince Donna to go out with me, she was worried about how her brother would feel also. We finally were a couple.She was 17 and I was 19. We were like best friends and I treated her that way. One day at my moms house we ended up having sex. We had a great relationship and we were like rabbit's we had sex everyday, sometimes more than once. We were stupid and did'nt use protection and she ended up pregnant her senior year. I was already out of school but living at home still. My mom hit the roof and said she never like anyone in that family, there was just something about Donna and the rest of them. I liked the whole family though, and I loved Donna to death. We had our days were we fought about dumb crap but it was normal.
I moved in with her mom and dad soon after the baby was born. I wanted to be with the baby and they understood, they were cool with that, just as long as I don't sleep with Donna until we get married. Well we had another baby 3 years later, no, not married. The ywere upset but their was a new baby to deal with. During this time I felt distant from Donna, it seemed she hung with mom and dad and listened to them more than me. We did still have great times. She was babysitting some kids for some lady that worried more about having a good time. This lady had some loser guy with a daughter she watched also. I had some suspetions about stuff going on, but I think she was trying to scare me because we were fighting some. So she used this guy to make me jeleous. I may never know. 3 years later her comes baby 3. They were pissed. still no marriage, both working dead wnd jobs and even more distant. During this pregnancy her mom found her first born. She kept this secret from the kids until now. Well this guy eneded up being a winner, moved in and did nothing but be a baby. It was dcool at first, till he moved in.
Of course everyone wanted to spend time with him, but over time it seemed liked my girlfriend loved spending a lot more time with him. I noticed things were not right. I sat alone in my room a lot. I thought I was being stupid. One morning Caught him on top of her on the couch kissing, she didn't fight back. I went into shock. I ran downstairs into the basement and stood there for a minute. My head was racing with thoughts. My anger kicked in and I flew upstairs because I was gonna kill that sob. Suprise! the chicken shit ran. Leaving her to fend for herself. I asked her while I was shaking in fear and anger, what the hell is going on!? She kept saying I don't know, it just happened. I didn't believe her. I slapped her then grabbed her and threw her against the wall, I hit her in her back as she tried to get away, she ran into the bathroom and locked the door, I kicked it in and grabbed her and threw her into the tub. I stopped and couldn't believe what I have just done. I was horrified. I have never hit her. The cops were at the door, I just went out and said take me. They did.
Re: Emotional danny: CONTINUED*********
I went to jail for a day and was released, I wasnt sure were I could go. To my shock her was my dad pulling up in the car. Took me home and told me to clean up and lay down. I cried my eye's out as I fell asleep. I woke up late the next day hating her. We didn't talk for about 3 weeks, then as I was talking to my son on the phone she grabs the phone and says I miss you! I told her I loved her and I wanted her back. My family wasn't happy at all but I was in love with her. We did meet at places and went to parks. We did nothing but hang on to eachother and kiss. We even had sex, a lot. One night she calls up and said her mom just died, she was hysterical. I drove to the hospital and held her tight all day long. I took her everywhere she needed to go, I even bought the dress her mom was burried in. The two famalies had mixed emotions about us getting back together. I got a years probation and had to do anger classes. We finally married 2 months after her mom died, I have even moved back in with her.
Life was great, Then she is pregnant with baby 4 and I find a note to some guy named Sam and it was pretty detailed. I jumped in the car and went to meet Donna, she was walking on the way back from getting our son from school. I immediatly without thinking about the kids grabbed her by the arm and started yelling at her. She gave me some bullshit about how she just made it up long ago. She just didnt throw it away because she wanted to destroy it. I didn't believe her. I left and she was screaming and crying to believe her. I came back late that night, I didn't talk to her for day's. I just went to work and did whatever. We started talking. I wanted to believe in her. I started feeling she plyes these games because she is a kid in a woman's body. My family said she isn't wired right. I loved her though, maybe to much that it wasnt healthy. Time went by, i had this doubt in my head. I didn't trust her anymore. I tried and I was hurt. We finally got a place of our own and we had great times. Time heals, some things that is. We also had another baby, yes 5 now! A couple years later we lost our home, I failed, I lost my job and she worked her ass off for us. In the back of my mind I had all this doubt and even trust issues., I just didn't care anymore. She never admited to any wrong doing, to anything for that fact. We did fight about a lot of stupid stuff.
Well we were homeless, staying at a shelter, this brought things out in us that helped and hurt our relationship. We finally because of a friend got a place. She and her husband owned some duplexes and rented us one cheap. Our son was friends with hers. She was nice but had lots of problems with her husband, he was an alcoholic and didn't do much of anything, but he was cool with the kids so that helped. well a few months later Marie left him after a fight. She couldn't take it anymore. He quickly starts this I was the abused one in the family and latched on to the kids and neighbors. He sat out there and with every beer smeeling breath told all kinds of lies about his wife. All this was to make him look better. Well my wife believed all that crap, She would come in saying you know what Marie did? I worked nights so i would come home and she would already be outside talking to him, all the time. I git sick of it and started accusing her of sleeping with him. She was always around him. She said "he is a friend". He is gonna pay me to clean his house. im gonna do it tonight. Yeah whatever I said. well she pulls this im emotionally abusive and I need space, we would fight and she would have her brother come get her and the kids, this happened a couple times. One day I found this note to the landlord, about how she got excited when he was around and how she liked it when he hugged her a buch of other stupid crap, it also said "be carefull because you know why" I confronted her about it. She said it was fake. Agian I sit confused.
Re: Emotional danny: CONTINUED************
Then she would stay and sleep at the old duplex we just moved out of because during this we moved into a nicer one because of out great friend the landlord. *rolls eyes* She wanted space from me. so she would say she was working on the place cleaning it up and wouls sleep there. Cheater anyone? That's what I thought. Was it a game with her again? I couldn't figure it out. I was so hurt and confused. I started taking sleeping pills, a lot of them. Well one morning a few weeks ago. I woke up and something was wrong with me. She was satnding at the kitchen counter making something and I started asking all these questions about the past and why don'y you just tell me your screwing the landlord. She denied everything and told me she was never kissed bt her brother. That I needed to get out and she didn't need any money from me. Well that sealed the deal there. Ilost control and grabbed her, i wanted to choke her but couldn't, I just yelled what the hell is happening? She had a knife in her hand and lifted it up. Ihit her and threw her to the floor, hard. She jumped up and ran out the door. I called the poice, I didn't say anything about the knife. I was afraid they would take her in also and the kids would go to DFS.
I sat in jail for 2 days. I didn't care anymore, I jus wanted to die. I hurt my wife and I don't even know the truth, or do I? It has been several weeks. i live far away with a friend, she barley lets me talk to my kids. Funny how know she demanded rent money in the "exparte" hearing. I call and leave messages wanted to tell the kids I love them but I get nothing. At first I am hurt and know it's I love this girl, I want her back. Now I face 3rd degree assult charges. I live in another state so I don't know how long before they serve me or if they even can. I'm ready to deal with whatever anyway, i hit her so be it, i deserve it. Funny thing is Im sure he is supporting her, she has no job. Hell, we even had another kid a few months before all this went down. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm not a monster. I love my family, was it all in my head, is she childish or is she really a cheater? help me.
Re: Emotional AfterMath: Hi Danny,
You've found a good place to talk about your situation. Keep posting this story. We'll give some decent advice Buddy. Take Care
