kids and dating and remarriage and ... maddy: ok.. it's been a while since I was here... in the mean time I have been getting my kids help by taking them to the exchange club, going to the counciling sessions myself, working on finalizing my divorce and <ahem> getting very close to someone else.
The last bit I really wasn't planned but we've been seeing eachother since Feb.
He loves my kids and goes out of his way to spend time with them. He loves me. And quite frankly the unexpected for me--- I've fallen for him.
SO.. what's the problem? well we haven't told my kids yet that we are anything more than friends. They know we are co-workers, that we spend a lot of time together. But what they don't know is that he and I have been dating this long, care a great deal for eachother, and recently he's been talking about co-habiting(which I staunchly oppose!) and marrage(which I THINK I am ready for)
My eldest? I think he would be ok with it. Sort of.. He would be ok with the idea of mom dating. But then again he's 12 and holds a lot of hostility towards dad. He's pretty cool with my SO (and actually told him that he loves him! that doesn't come easy to a 12 yr old)
My middle child? He still holds tenaciously on to the hope that mom and dad will get back together- even though he really likes(I might even venture to say loves) my SO.
My youngest? WHO can say?! She has never said she hopes that daddy and mommy get back together. She seems ok but I just can't tell! like my middle child she seems to love my SO.
What do I do!? I don't want to upset their world by saying oh guess what Mr. ----- and I are going to start dating or worse yet Mr. ---- proposed to me and is going to be your step dad.
I've told them that there may come a time when I actually meet someone and want to marry again but that they wouldn't be expected to call that person daddy.
OH what do I do?
Re: kids and dating and remarriage and ... Shanna: I think you should let the kids know that you two are dating and let them get used to that idea for a while before you throw any REALLY BIG things at them.
Re: kids and dating and remarriage and ... maddy: LOL Sully- Yes, ma'am . I know. I know.. but how do I even TELL them that I am dating him when we've been doing it for a while and I've been seeing him on the sly for a while.
Re: kids and dating and remarriage and ... Suddenly Single: Yeah...be honest with them and tell them you are dating and care for each other...I'm sure they can already pick up on it so you probably won't be hitting them with any BIG news.
Good Luck.
